Note: Never Expect Meaningful Friendships With Narcissists

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ If you have some real empathy and true self-respect, 

Don't expect lasting friendships with actual narcissists 

Most of whom may connect with you to take advantage

Of your kindness - selfishly they wish to benefit

From your willingness to assist them in their projects.

~•~

Once they have profited from you and they've accomplished

What they wanted, expect these conceited narcissists

To vanish amidst conversation. New messages

From you gradually stop receiving quick responses.

They tend to "ghost" those who provoke them to feel jealous.

~•~

Or maybe so-and-so left you as they were upset, 

By one or some of your posts they got so offended.

They failed to reach out because they had zero courage 

To hear the truth or witness your gifts get acknowledged.

Or the disconnect was due to them being distressed.

~•~

Regardless of why they decided to act quiet,

Recall you can't build real connection with narcissists 

Who are typically selfish, obsessed with cosmetics, 

And they would rather embellish their public image 

Instead of seeking logic and collecting knowledge.

~•~

So if one day by some narcissists you get "ghosted", 

Don't suspect your self-worth. Stay strong. Don't feel dejected. 

Most shoppers reject anything that's too expensive. 

Perhaps your frankness causes them to feel defective, 

Or they've bad motives, and your faith must be well-guarded.

~•~

📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "No one who has the weight of a seed (or atom) of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise." Someone said, "But a man loves to have beautiful clothes and shoes." The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, Allah is Beautiful and He loves beauty. Arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on the people."

In another narration, the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "No one who has the weight of a seed of faith (Imaan) in his heart will enter Hellfire."

Source: Sahih Muslim 91

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "No one who has the weight of a seed of arrogance (atom's weight of kibr) in his heart will enter Paradise." A man said, “But a man likes to have nice clothes and nice shoes.” The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, Allah is Beautiful and He loves beauty. Arrogance (kibr) is to disregard (or reject) the truth and to look down on the people."

Source: Sahih Muslim 91

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Love whom you love moderately, perhaps he will become hateful to you someday. Hate whom you hate moderately, perhaps he will become your beloved friend someday."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1997

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-signs-of-people-who-are.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/05/note-self-respect-vs-actual-narcissism.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/11/tips-nine-signs-that-youre-not.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/09/poem-deluded-narcissists-dont-flatter.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/06/tips-five-things-we-must-not-expect.html 

Tips: How To Deal With "Friends" Who Disappear Then Reappear After A Long Time Of Disconnection

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Question: As an INTJ-A personality type, what would you do if some of your friends were frequently communicating online and then agreed to meet up one day, but when that day arrived they failed to show up and despite several attempts to reach out to them, they weren't responsive, although I notice them updating their social media accounts regularly? 

📝 Answer: Allah the Almighty knows best. If you've known those friends for more than seven years while you firmly believe that they matter to you a lot, and you all reside in the same city, you could try paying them a surprise visit one by one and then ask them politely why they haven't responded to your messages in a long time. Maybe they're extremely sensitive and got offended by a number of your recent online posts and they lack the courage to confront you about what upset them. 

On the other hand, if they're merely acquaintances or colleagues who have never been on outings with you more than twice and until now you doubt their reliability, their sudden disappearance or decision to disconnect shouldn't impact you negatively. Rather it should remind you that the people whom we meet on earth, with Allah's Will, are all temporary and not every single one of those who regard themselves as friends of yours is guaranteed to stick by you until the Day of Judgment, particularly if your objectives in life are too different.

After attempting to contact those who suddenly discontinued chatting with you at most three times, simply detach yourself from them as well and quit stalking their Facebook timelines, pages and Instagram accounts etc. Why bother forcing yourself to pay attention to cowardly individuals who are obviously doing whatever they can to flee from you? Don't play "Tag, you're it!" with someone who doesn't want to play the game. Respect yourself enough to courageously walk away for Allah's sake from anybody who's too scared or too distracted to reciprocate your kindness, and avoid anything that fails to enhance your Imaan/faith. 

Patiently accept Allah's Qadr/Destiny and know that there is always wisdom in Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala deciding who you get to network with and who are temporarily passing by as agents to train you in strengthening your capacity for desisting from sins.

If Allah the Most Wise decrees that you encounter those "former friends" again in the future, don't treat them in an inhumane way. Maintain your good manners for Allah's sake even in their presence while putting some distance, because you refuse to befriend prideful narcissists with a lousy tendency to vanish in the midst of conversation then reappearing as their gargantuan ego compels them to enjoy being chased. It makes them feel so obnoxiously "superior" when others shamefully beg for their "highly sought-after" approval. 

The only time you can consider reconnecting with a friend who's been silent or absent for a lengthy period is when they clearly explain to you the reasons behind their inability to respond to your messages in the past while overall you view them as righteous friends who inspire you to become a better Muslimah, and arrogantly refusing to reconcile could result in regret on both sides.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is not stung twice from the same hole."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5782

Sahih Muslim 2998

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Love whom you love moderately, perhaps he will become hateful to you someday. Hate whom you hate moderately, perhaps he will become your beloved friend someday."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1997

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/tips-when-is-ghosting-and-avoiding.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/10/tips-ways-to-deal-with-ghosting-and.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-tips-on-how-to-deal-with-users-who.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/03/note-some-advice-from-intj-on-ghosting.html 

https://personalitygrowth.com/intj-ghosting-how-they-deal-with-ghosting-people-and-being-ghosted/

Quotes: Don't Let One Problem Cause You To Become Ungrateful

🖋️ "Do not allow one worry (or one problem) cause you to forget thousands of Allah's blessings upon you."

Also do not allow one negative aspect about your husband cause you to disregard his many positive qualities and all the favors which he has done, including the countless gifts he gave. Forgiving others is actually easy when you truly love them for Allah's sake.

🌼

Quotes: For Allah's Sake Be Much Better Than What People Assume About You

🖋️ "It is beautiful that the people in general (or most people) think well of you, 

And it is even more beautiful that you (in reality) are a lot better than what they assume."

The best of your deeds and noble qualities are known to Allah the Almighty Whose Love is more important than whether or not His servants applaud you or disapprove.

Note: 5 Things Which Some INTJs Can't Resist When They Truly Care About You For Allah's Sake

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📝 Five things which many INTJs can't resist doing when they truly care about you and like you for Allah's sake as a friend or loved one (if they do at least three of these, they regard you as a friend, not just an acquaintance or uninteresting stranger): 

1] They deliberately find ways to prolong most of their conversations with you online and face to face, to the point of interviewing you enthusiastically with totally random questions about yourself because they're actually interested in improving the connection. 

2] They frequently browse through your Facebook status updates, at least once every two weeks (instead of never visiting again ever since discovering your timeline/page/profile), and they're genuinely curious about what you can contribute. Plus points if they post some encouraging comments on a lot of your posts whenever they aren't busy. 

3] They seldom complain about your delayed responses. Your act of leaving some of their messages on "seen" mode doesn't affect them at all negatively, because they understand how you can get preoccupied with other tasks and responsibilities at times. When an INTJ is deeply concerned about your well-being for Allah's sake, they're amazingly patient with you and forgive your shortcomings easily.

4] Without hesitancy, they're capable of defending you, verbally and physically, in both your presence and absence. If an INTJ quickly goes out of their way to ensure you don't feel awkward, embarrassed and uncomfortable during any meeting or large gathering, despite being an introvert, take that as a clear sign that their affection for you is 100% certain (authentic, not questionable). 

5] At least once a year or every five months, they make the first move in asking if they can visit you, or if they occasionally share with you some links to a number of online Islamic lectures, or they eagerly invite you to join them for an outing etc.

~•~

📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah, and withholds for the sake of Allah has perfected the faith (Imaan)."

Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4681

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: A bedouin asked the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam “When is the Hour?” The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, “What have you prepared for it?” The man said, “Love for Allah and His Messenger (SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam).” The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "You will be with those whom you love."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3435

Sahih Muslim 2639

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are like conscripted soldiers. They come together upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109

Sahih Muslim 2638

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/tips-intj-acquaintance-vs-intj-friend.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-how-most-intj-personality-types.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/08/tips-intj-courtesy-vs-companionship.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/09/tips-eleven-signs-indicating-intj-cares.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/01/tips-intjs-when-they-like-you-in.html 

https://abukhadeejah.com/only-true-friends-and-righteous-companions-will-benefit-you/

https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/7-reasons-why-you-need-an-intj-friend-in-your-life/

https://youtu.be/H0raZ9WDTaw