Tips: Advice From An INTJ On How To Not Feel Affected By Jealousy And Social Comparison

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📜 Question: As an INTJ personality type, what's your secret to feeling completely indifferent and unaffected by jealousy whenever you notice individuals online and in the malls who seem wealthier, taller or more good-looking than you? 

📝 Answer: Allah the Almighty knows best. Alhamdulillah as a Muslim: 

1] I adhere to my belief that Allah the Most Wise is the One Who bestowed upon His servants whatever He chose to grant them. Even the material possessions which many people enjoy flaunting were all given with Allah's Qadr/Decree. It's not our place, as Allah's slaves, to question why He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala gave such and such to so-and-so while we didn't earn the exact same thing. 

2] I remind myself often of all the favors, gifts and blessings which Allah the Most Loving granted me in the past and present, Alhamdulillah, including the ability to understand some Arabic words, how Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala enabled me to travel to several countries before and meet a wide variety of nationalities, and being my dear husband's first wife contentedly.

3] I obstinately go out of my way to avoid nosily staring at what this customer purchased, how that shopper actually looks like, and what kind of fabric or footwear this person has on etc. Imagine a large picture frame displaying an image of a forest with tons of trees and mountains in the background. Rather than counting the number of plants there are in the photo, what shades of color were used and whether one of the mountains was covered in snow or not, I would unapologetically ignore those insignificant details and instead focus on my cellphone or gladly mind my own business, aware that there's an ornament nearby but absolutely uninterested in wanting to check what the object (or drama) is all about. 

4] If I can sense that an individual is desperately trying to make me feel "envious" because they're the one in actuality who's struggling with intense jealousy, I would feel sorry for them, that they allowed their jealous feelings to provoke them to act obnoxiously, and I would intentionally refrain from asking random questions about their personal lives, since they'd probably invent false stories about themselves to appear "enviable". 

5] On social media I stay away from stalking users who frequently post the type of status updates which are deliberately designed to make their "followers" "envy" them. I also abstain from watching vlogs on YouTube which can't inspire me to become a better Muslim and more productive human being. If there are Arab vloggers whose content I watch occasionally, the purpose of sometimes viewing their videos is to learn from how they communicate and interact with others, and to review my comprehension of the Arabic language. 

You have a right to keep your distance from those whose presence cause you to doubt yourself and attempting to spend time anywhere near them isn't beneficial at all for your faith/Imaan. 

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Beware of envy, for it erases good deeds just as fire devours wood or grass."

Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4903

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Suyuti

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Envy consumes good deeds just as fire burns wood. Charity (Sadaqah) extinguishes sinful deeds just as water extinguishes fire. Prayer is the light of the believer and fasting is his shield from the Hellfire."

Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 4210

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Ibn Asakir 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Faith (Imaan) and envy do not combine within a believing servant."

In another narration, the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Greed and faith are never combined in the heart of a servant."

Source: Sunan Al-Nasā’ī 3109

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/11/poem-stronger-your-belief-in-allah-less.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-be-grateful-to-allah-and-avoid.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/10/poem-i-cant-get-jealous-over-worldly.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/12/tips-how-some-intjs-deal-with-jealousy.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-clear-signs-of-jealous-people-even.html

https://personalitygrowth.com/the-ways-in-which-each-personality-type-handles-jealousy/

Note: Some Advice To Muslim Business Owners And Entrepreneurs

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🌻 Reminding Muslim business owners and entrepreneurs to ensure that not only are the products they're selling halal (lawful and legal to be sold) but also their ways of advertising do not contradict Islamic values and principles as much as possible. I understand that some of you may be tempted to post advertisements which include messages like "ideal for Xmas giveaways" or "special gifts to give your loved ones this Xmas season" to increase your sales instead of limiting your customers to Muslims only, but do you actually believe that Allah the Almighty would bless your businesses if it seems that you're absolutely okay with certain celebrations which are clearly related to shirk/polytheism? 

If it is illogical for a vegan or vegetarian to work as a butcher in a meat shop or for an individual who abhors cats and is allergic to them to sell pet cat food, then it is more irrational for a Muslim who strives to please Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala to sell items by indirectly showing double thumbs up to the wrong ideologies of potential buyers. Displaying indirect approval to customs and events which commemorate kufr/disbelief or shirk/polytheism in any way isn't something that Allah the Most Wise would appreciate. Do you think that most teachers would like it if you're striving to study well to perform satisfactorily at school while you openly cheer for the rebellious students who encourage others to drop out? 

There are other methods of increasing the number of supportive customers without sacrificing your values and going against your beliefs. You could offer reasonable discounts or award freebies without mentioning occasions which we Muslims don't celebrate. 

Your business can Inn-sha-Allah thrive and be filled with barakah if you sincerely put effort into trying to avoid choices which could displease Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. 

Sometimes an action done regularly may appear to be insignificant to you but to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala it could be something serious or considerable.

~•~

📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah, and withholds for the sake of Allah has perfected the faith (Imaan)."

Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4681

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

Al-Azimabadi said, “That he hates for the sake of Allah does not mean he harms the one whom he hates. Rather, the hatred is for his unbelief and disobedience.”

Source: ‘Awn Al-Ma’būd 4681

📖 'Aisha RadhiAllahu 'anha narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever seeks Allah's Pleasure by the displeasure of the people, Allah will suffice him against the people. Whoever seeks the pleasure of the people by displeasing Allah, Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) will leave him to the patronage of the people."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2414

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/02/poem-patience-for-allahs-sake-with.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-why-we-should-please-allah-only.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/06/tips-questions-you-may-ask-yourself-to.html 

Tips: Eleven Ways To Respect Yourself

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📝 Eleven ways to respect yourself: 

1] As much as possible avoid both the major and minor sins which Allah the Almighty and His noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam warned against, including knowingly stealing and backbiting. 

2] Be very careful and wisely selective regarding who you choose to befriend and care about for Allah's sake. Do not bother trying to strengthen connections with individuals who have proven to be untrustworthy and toxic for your overall well-being. 

3] Do not force yourself to like those who trigger you to sense negative emotions. If somebody consistently goes out of their way to make you feel jealous or guilty for whatever reason, for Allah's sake avoid their negative presence unapologetically.

4] If you weren't invited to an outing or gathering, gladly stay away from stalking the social media posts, photos and updates regarding those events which you were excluded from and refrain from asking the attendees questions concerning what occurred and whatnot. The less you know about issues which won't add any positive value to your faith/Imaan, the farther you are from emotional distress. 

5] Avoid aimlessly browsing around social media accounts and pages which clearly can't benefit you in any way. If a page, website or user's timeline is actually beneficial, you should be able to observe significant improvement in your faith/Imaan and personality. 

6] Avoid sabotaging yourself through watching indecent videos, doing drugs, gambling, inventing lies to make yourself more interesting, and committing illegal activities which could result in trouble in this world and the afterlife.

7] Do not allow yourself to be overworked. Don't agree to do non-compulsory things which you obviously cannot do. 

Take regular naps and rest when necessary. 

8] Don't be too proud and too arrogant that you're incapable of receiving constructive feedback. Some criticisms can be useful at times for self-development. 

9] Never compare the journey which Allah the Most Wise designed for you to the lives which He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala chose to give others as tests. Strive to focus on achieving your own goals. Remain grateful for Allah's blessings and gifts. 

10] Do not be contented with ignorance and insufficient knowledge. Sincerely continue learning more about Islam for Allah's sake and regularly research on how to become a better human being through the right sources. 

11] Do not insult yourself by assuming that you're not worthy enough to pursue what can benefit you in both worlds. Think of good thoughts, forgive yourself, speak to yourself compassionately, learn from your mistakes, and always seek guidance from Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. 

Recall that our aim is to worship Only Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala instead of yearning for His servants' approval.

~•~

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is one who is trusted by the people. The Muslim is one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe (not guilty of backbiting, telling lies, and purposely committing oppression / injustice). The emigrant (muhaajir) is one who emigrates away from evil. 

By the One (Allah the Almighty) in Whose Hand is my soul, a servant will not enter Paradise if his neighbor is not secure from his harm."

Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 515 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna'ut

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

https://abukhadeejah.com/respect-religious-duties-and-good-actions-islam-4-8/

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/05/note-self-respect-vs-actual-narcissism.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-five-tips-to-befriend-yourself-and.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/01/tips-difference-between-self-respect.html 

Note: Three Disadvantages Of Certain Matrimonial Websites

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📋 Three disadvantages of trying to search for a good spouse via matrimonial websites: 

1] A lot of the profiles could either contain false information and include invented stories to impress other users or the developers of certain matrimonial websites may be managing those sites for moneymaking purposes - for instance, you won't be granted access to view the complete details of a particular profile until you pay the web administrators online a significant amount of money. 

2] You could be wasting a lot of time by browsing around numerous profiles and finding it very challenging to select which person is the most ideal candidate as your future spouse, particularly if it can take several weeks to receive a response that isn't ambiguous from somebody whom you may be interested in marrying.

3] There can be lots of fitna in having to browse around a variety of profiles displaying photos of non-mahrams and many of those uploaded pictures could be fake or overly edited. 

Allah the Almighty knows best.

✅ Suggested means of finding a righteous spouse 

Inn-sha-Allah, whether you're a Muslimah who was previously married or you have never had a husband yet: 

1] Inform your mother and/or father about your sincere willingness to get married for Allah's sake. 

They could Inn-sha-Allah inquire their relatives or close friends if they can recommend a marriageable Muslim man whom they believe is most suitable for you etc. 

2] Inform your grandparents, aunties, uncles, siblings or female cousins about your interest in marrying at your age. Maybe they can suggest some marriageable Muslim men whom you can choose from and request that they approach your father (individually), brothers or uncles etc. to be evaluated if they deserve to marry you. 

You can Inn-sha-Allah meet the willing suitor while in the presence of at least two of your male mahrams (📝Note: your male cousins are not your mahrams even if they're a lot younger than you) to check if you'll accept the guy's marriage proposal for Allah's sake. 

3] Courageously ask one of your friends or colleagues if they'll be okay with you as their future sister-in-law if you find yourself feeling seriously attracted to her brother or one of her brothers. If she likes the idea of you becoming his wife for Allah's sake, she could

Inn-sha-Allah inform him as well as their parents to reach out to your father or male mahrams to pursue the marriage proposal. 

•Note: It is strongly advisable to pray two Sunnah Rak'ahs of Salat Al-Istikhaara, to carefully contemplate before deciding to approve or decline a Muslim's marriage proposal, and to ensure that you do everything with sincerity/Ikhlaas just for Allah's sake, as decisions that are made genuinely to please Only Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala are in general never followed by remorse.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If someone proposes marriage to you whose religion and character satisfies you, then you should accept it. If you do not do so, there will be trials on the earth and the spread of corruption."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1084

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Aisha RadhiAllahu 'anha narrated: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, should women be asked for their consent (permission) before marriage?” The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Yes." I said, “Indeed, sometimes a virgin is too shy to speak when asked.” The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Her silence (not resisting nor complaining) is her consent (sign that she accepts the marriage proposal)."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6547

Sahih Muslim 1420

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/11/note-arranged-marriages-vs-forced.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-forbiddance-of-forced-marriages-in.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-warning-to-fathers-brothers-and.html 

https://maktabahuthaymeen.wordpress.com/2016/01/02/the-ruling-on-using-internet-matrimonial-websites-and-forums/

https://www.bakkah.net/en/dont-play-games-with-wilaayah-the-right-of-being-the-walee-for-a-marriage.htm

https://www.abukhadeejah.com/the-consent-of-woman-before-marriage-is-essential-and-she-cannot-give-herself-away-in-marriage/

Tips: Advice On How To Stay Calm And Chill When Your Husband Wishes To Remarry

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📜 Question: What advice can you give to every Muslimah so she can stay calm and chill like you if ever her husband expresses his willingness to remarry, or what's your secret to not feeling bothered at all when you discovered that you became your husband's first wife? 

📝 Answer: Allah the Almighty knows best. 

1💟 Always remember that the actual and main goal of our life isn't to construct a seemingly "flawless" relationship with any human being but to sincerely strive to please and worship only our Creator and True God Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. We're not here on earth to pamper our desires and keep our ego satisfied but we were created by Allah the Almighty to worship just Him Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala by trying our best to obey His Commands, avoid what He prohibited, and patiently accept what He legislated and permitted including allowing responsible and capable Muslim men to be married to up to four wives. As Allah's servants, we try our utmost to comply with His Orders and legislations instead of arrogantly and openly defying them. 

2💟 Adamantly believe that Allah the Most Wise will not grant you tests which your soul can't withstand. Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala precisely knows the level of your faith/Imaan and when He examines you with certain situations it is because He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala can see that you have the ability to actually pass that test if you cleverly utilize the correct tools in responding wisely. 

So if ever you discover that your husband remarried without informing you yet directly, do well in such examination by training yourself to patiently accept Allah's Qadr/Decree. 

Acknowledge the fact that while you can't control your husband's actions 24/7 nor ensure that he never "cheats", you have absolute freewill concerning the way you react when you find him behaving strangely or questionably. Stay grateful Alhamdulillah and be glad that he's not guilty of adultery, while humbly accepting the truth that he has every right, as an adult Muslim male who's financially stable, to be married to up to four wives. 

3💟 Confidently know that your success in this world and the next doesn't entirely depend on what your husband does and chooses to do. You can still be from those believers whom Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala loves even if your husband decides to have another wife. You can still persist in journeying towards Jannah Paradise even if your husband lawfully loves another woman. Your husband still loves you for Allah's sake and genuinely cares about you even if he is blessed with two, three or four wives. The kind of marriage which Allah the Most Loving decreed for you, whether it's monogamous or polygynous, does not ultimately define your value as a Muslimah. Your worth may be in how much effort you put in maintaining a strong connection with Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, regardless if you're single, married or one of your husband's wives. 

4💟 It is better to be one of your husband's patient and loyal wives than to be a divorcee who feels awfully remorseful whenever she observes how other wives in polygynous marriages have a lot more determination than her while she couldn't fully empathize with the former spouse.

5💟 Admit that our archenemy shaytan and his puppets are the ones who feel smug whenever they assume they've succeeded in disuniting Muslims and destroying Muslim families. Don't allow the delusional devils to easily spoil the beautiful connection which Allah the Most Merciful destined for you. Whenever your husband upsets or disappoints you, always remind yourself that he isn't an infallible robot and even androids or gadgets have their own defects. Even if you left him and remarried another guy, that new spouse would also be filled with loads of imperfections. If you ditched husband number two, husband number three and four and so on similarly have their own shortcomings. Why discard crumpled paper only to collect other bits of crumpled paper? 

It is better and less problematic to be contented with one imperfect husband than to leave him for another flawed substitute while occasionally finding yourself missing the first husband. 

It is better and more rewarding, in my opinion, for a Muslim man to be gratefully married to four wives with many children who can be productive assets 

Inn-sha-Allah to the Muslim Ummah than for him to remain with a wife who can't really conceive or for him to have one wife while combating the urge to commit adultery. 

If you truly love your husband for Allah's sake, you'd want him to be happy by way of lawful means rather than annoyingly attaching yourself to him and preventing him from pursuing what Allah the Most Kind allowed him to do, namely to have more than one wife. 

~•~ 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A woman is married for four things: Her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman otherwise you will be a loser."

Sahih Al-Bukhari 5090

In-book reference: Book 67 Hadith 28

USC-MSA web (English) reference: Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 27 

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1467

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://abukhadeejah.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Righteous-Wife-P1-WEB-7.3-Print-Complete.pdf 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-patience-for-allahs-sake-can.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/11/poem-from-signs-of-pious-wives-is-they.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-my-answer-to-what-made-you-accept.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/tips-when-is-polygyny-better-than.html 

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