Note: INTJ Muslim Wife On Divorce, Fierce Loyalty And Remarrying

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

🗒️ Question: As a Muslimah whose MBTI personality type is INTJ, what would your actual reaction be if your husband informed you that he already signed some documents to agree on talaaq / divorce? 

📝 Answer: 1] Firstly I'd patiently accept that his request for separation was willed and decreed by Allah the Almighty, and as a Muslim I should try my best to avoid questioning Allah's Destiny. I'd still let him know that if ever he wishes to reconcile so we can, with Allah's Will, have a second marriage (even until a third marriage) in the future then I would lovingly welcome him with open arms. 

2] I'm definitely not one of those females who'd desperately search for another guy to marry when divorced. If ever my husband asked for a divorce, I would insist on finding ways to discuss the issue with him, solve the problem, and even encourage him to marry another woman without him needing to leave me. 

3] I would assume or imagine that he is acting strange because he's under some kind of "spell", black magic or sorcery, or his odd conduct resulted from the negative influence of the evil eye / "ayn", or simply some awfully jealous individuals and nosy outsiders are the ones coercing him to declare that he has decided to divorce - maybe because they want him to marry somebody else or they assume that we are "incompatible" out of sheer envy. 

4] If ever it was official that I'd be a divorcee, I would still have hope, unyielding determination, and firm trust in Allah the Most Wise, asking Him Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala to bring back to me the man whom He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala wisely chose as my spouse and soulmate at the most ideal timing. I'd recall the special love stories of several Muslim couples, whom I am acquainted with personally, and admire how those wives remained loyal and remarried some time after a temporary split-up. I'd rather obstinately reject all the marriage proposals of willing suitors and faithfully wait for a remarriage with my first husband, even if Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala destines that our second marriage occurs in our fifties or seventies. 

5] If I were a divorcee, particularly one who still won't give up on her ex-husband and who's eagerly praying for another wedding with him, I would actively, as much as possible, avoid mingling with females who are unduly proud of being either married or divorced, while unapologetically staying away from online content which advocate impatience and illogical divorce. A broken family isn't something to celebrate from my perspective, and, in my opinion, a woman never truly loved her husband if she won't fight at all for their love to continue until Jannah Paradise. 

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e. her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious (righteous Muslimah) woman (otherwise) you will be a loser."

Sahih Al-Bukhari 5090

In-book reference: Book 67 Hadith 28

USC-MSA web (English) reference: Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 27 

📖 Jabir RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, shaytan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations (mischief, trouble). One of them says: 'I have done this and this.' shaytan says: 'you have done nothing.' Another one says: 'I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife.' shaytan embraces him and he says: 'you have done well!'" 

Source: Sahih Muslim 2813 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://abukhadeejah.com/characteristics-of-a-righteous-wife-in-light-of-the-quran-and-sunnah-part-1/

💚

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/poem-men-who-are-blessed-to-be-married.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/07/poem-seven-reasons-why-divorce-is-more.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/poem-if-my-husband-wanted-divorce-id.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-demerits-of-divorce.html 

Tips: Some Advice From An INTJ Personality Type On Not Caring About How People Perceive You

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📜 Question: What is your secret to not caring at all about how most people see you? How is it possible that you continue doing certain things without worrying about people's opinions? 

📝 Answer: 1] Patiently persist in living life only to please and worship our Creator Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala Who has full control over everything and everybody. Why should you care about appearing likable 24/7 to all of Allah's servants when many of them struggle to respect themselves? 

2] Understand that you shouldn't feel afraid of or overly worried about how people view you, as they themselves also have their own set of fears, trials and worries, while all human beings are accountable for what they voluntarily choose to do. 

3] Believe that when some individuals wrongfully accuse you of doing something which you're against or they misjudge you in some ways, it's because they're obviously ignorant of what you actually do when they are not properly observing or their intense jealousy of you provokes them to deny that you're capable of doing the right thing. 

4] What goes around comes around. Allah's Justice always prevails if not sooner or later in this world then surely some time on the Day of Judgment. Anybody who purposely tries to make your circumstances difficult will 

Inn-sha-Allah witness the consequences of their intentional actions. Frequently plotting against those who sincerely strive to be closer to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala can be a double-edged sword. 

5] Consistently remind yourself of your actual goals, purpose and mission in this world. The more you adamantly support the reasons behind what you do sincerely for Allah's sake, the less you become easily influenced by how other fellow slaves perceive you. 

~•~

📖 Aisha RadhiAllahu 'anha narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever seeks Allah's Pleasure by the displeasure of the people, Allah will suffice him against the people. Whoever seeks the pleasure of the people by displeasing Allah, Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) will leave him to the patronage of the people."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2414

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: 'Allah has decreed what He wills.' Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim  

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-please-only-allah.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/05/poem-find-peace-in-allahs-love-not.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/05/note-on-how-to-attain-patience-and.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-what-it-means-to-be-steadfast-and.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/note-while-we-can-invite-people-to.html 

https://personalitygrowth.com/heres-how-tenacious-you-are-according-to-your-personality-type/

Poem: Deluded Narcissists, Don't Flatter Yourselves - I Am Not Jealous Of You And Your Lies.

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ If I could send a note to deluded narcissists 

Who embellish their stories with obvious tales and fibs, 

Expecting me to envy their tangled narratives, 

I'd say "Please, don't inflate your pride with your false guesses. 

I don't wish to be you. Quit assuming I'm "jealous". 

~•~

Alhamdulillah. With Allah's gifts I'm contented. 

I don't compare myself to those who are impious, 

Insecure, discourteous, prone to feeling jealous 

Of others or who truly can never be trusted. 

Why should I envy fakes and actors with foul motives?

~•~

Please, your lies don't impress me. They're just ridiculous. 

I smile when hearing you brag to remain courteous, 

Nodding now and then like an empathic teacher does 

When presumptuous students boast about their projects, 

Desperate for praise even if they could be pathetic.

~•~

Narcissists tend to lie a lot to seem impressive, 

And they want to know you're "jealous" so their depressive 

Moods can dissipate when their ego gets inflated. 

If I were jealous, I'd indulge in childish gossip, 

Acting like a bully who's tactless and oppressive. 

~•~

Jealousy is a feeling I don't wish to possess, 

Specially if it shows that one is discontented

With the gifts which Allah the Most Wise chooses to give. 

Fully content with my spouse whom Allah selected, 

I'm not one bit jealous of any actor's marriage."

~•~

📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "No one who has the weight of a seed of arrogance (atom's weight of kibr) in his heart will enter Paradise." A man said, “But a man likes to have nice clothes and nice shoes.” The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, Allah is Beautiful and He loves beauty. Arrogance (kibr) is to disregard (or reject) the truth and to look down on the people."

Source: Sahih Muslim 91

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "You must be truthful. Verily, truthfulness leads to righteousness and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man continues to be truthful and encourages honesty until he is recorded with Allah as a truthful person. And beware of falsehood. Verily, falsehood leads to wickedness and wickedness leads to the Hellfire. A man continues to tell lies and encourages falsehood until he is recorded with Allah as a liar."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5743 

Sahih Muslim 2607

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-nine-signs-of-actual-narcissists.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/05/note-self-respect-vs-actual-narcissism.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/04/tips-some-advice-on-how-to-deal-with.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/06/tips-five-things-we-must-not-expect.html 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-success/201608/8-common-narcissist-lies

Tips: Advice On How Not To Regret Your Choice To Disconnect From Toxic People

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

📑 Three tips to not feeling regretful at all with your decision to quit trying to maintain friendship with certain individuals who are (ex-friends) too toxic for you: 

1] Firmly believe that Allah the Almighty always has complete control over everybody and everything. If Allah the Most Wise wanted you to connect with some people, He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala would've allowed the connection to develop so it continues even until your reunion in Jannah Paradise. There's no use in insisting to remain as "close buddies" with those whom Allah the All-Seeing knows aren't actually wholesome for you. 

2] Recall the very reason why you decided to discontinue being interested in building a connection with that former "friend". The quality of your lifestyle and strength of your faith/Imaan may be negatively impacted by frequently socializing with untruthful, gossipy and untrustworthy individuals. 

3] Remind yourself of how you're already contented with Allah's Love and that you don't require any of His servants' approval to thrive in both worlds. Appreciate the select few whom you genuinely care about for Allah's sake such as your dear parents, spouse, siblings, half siblings or foster siblings and at least two cousins from your relatives who don't misjudge nor feel jealous of you at all etc.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan." 

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi 

📖 Abu Darda RadhiAllahu 'anhu said: "A righteous companion is better than loneliness, and loneliness is better than an evil companion. A good writer is better than one silent, and one silent is better than an evil writer."

Source: Rawdat Al-‘Uqalā 56

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/07/poem-checklist-to-find-out-if-someone.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/poem-toxic-friendships-which-we-cease.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/06/poem-advice-to-deal-with-loneliness-or.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/07/note-five-reasons-to-be-carefully.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/11/note-five-signs-indicating-it-is.html 

Note: Five Reasons Why Some People Are Easier To Talk To Than Others

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📝 Five possible reasons why you gravitate to certain individuals much more than with others and why it's not too difficult for you to have meaningful or long conversations with them: 

1] You have so many things and qualities in common, while you mutually don't feel envious of each other at all. 

✅ For instance you're both okay with polygyny, both of your parents passed away, you both resided in Saudi Arabia for several years, you are both the eldest of your siblings or you're an only child, you both enjoy researching about psychology and self-development, or you both can speak Arabic fluently etc. 

2] There are numerous aspects about them which you admire for Allah's sake, and likewise there's something about you which they find admirable or agreeable. 

✅ Example: You like how they're trustworthy and honest, while they respect your courage in accepting your husband's decision to stay married to more than one wife. Or you're amazed by their enthusiasm to generously share Islamic reminders and authentic knowledge regularly, while your carefulness with the way you utilize social media is one fact they love about you. 

3] You can sense that they refrain from purposely trying to make you jealous, insecure or uneasy, just as they are already at ease around you. They're not intimidated by you just as you're not threatened by their vibes in any way. 

4] They show willingness to become more acquainted with you for Allah's sake, while you're also willing to develop and maintain the connection. 

Two Muslims can Inn-sha-Allah connect well if both of them believe that networking and strengthening the link can bring them closer to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. 

5] Allah the Most Wise is the One Who destined your souls to actually feel comfortable around each other. 

You and some individuals can never "click" or amicably get along, even if you were colleagues or next-door neighbors, if establishing a strong bond with them isn't part of Allah's Qadr. 

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are like conscripted soldiers. They come together upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109 

Sahih Muslim 2638 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/01/note-some-factors-which-could-prevent.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/poem-how-to-tell-if-somebodys-vibes-are.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/poem-how-can-you-tell-if-persons-vibes.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/02/note-differences-between-people-who.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/tips-five-reasons-why-were-uninterested.html