Note: Five Things Which Would Cause Most INTJs To Show No Interest In Wanting To Befriend You

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📜 Question: What are some of your turn-offs, as a Muslim whose MBTI personality type is INTJ? Or list five things which if a person does would cause you to be completely disinterested in trying to befriend them?

📝 Answer: 1] If twice they proved to be unreliable and untrustworthy. If I requested them to do something and they obnoxiously show that they're unwilling to accomplish that task despite agreeing to fulfill it in the beginning, I decide if they have the potential to purposely break promises without a logical clarification, then they can never be trusted in the future, no matter how many times they claim to be sorry. I'd forgive them, yes, for Allah's sake but keep my distance as much as possible.

2] If I overhear them gossiping about me negatively or I catch them siding with a gossipmonger who's backbiting about me. 

3] If a lot of their acts demonstrate they're uninterested in putting effort to learn more about Islam and seeking authentic knowledge about the correct belief 'Aqeedah, claiming they are too "busy" to attend regular Islamic classes or still ignorantly sharing links from questionable speakers. If they lack sincerity to rectify their mistakes as though they're infatuated with willful ignorance.

4] If I can sense that they despise any of my family members, particularly my beloved husband, and if they oppose my advocacy of polygyny. If they abhor the fact that I'm okay with Allah's Will to permit capable Muslim men to be married to up to four wives. 

5] If it's very obvious that I don't feel safe and at ease around them. If their vibes bring discomfort because I can tell they're actually envious of me regardless of how often they act "approachable", they are unsupportive overall, and I can imagine them cowardly whining about me to others when I'm not around. 

~•~

📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah, and withholds for the sake of Allah has perfected the faith."

Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4681

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-choosiness-of-most-intjs-when-it.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/tips-intj-acquaintance-vs-intj-friend.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/01/tips-intjs-when-they-like-you-in.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/note-how-most-intj-personality-types.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/11/tips-what-many-intj-personality-types.html 

Tips: Detecting Actual Narcissists On Social Media

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Five flagrant signs of actual narcissists on social media: 

1] They regularly upload content on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube which showcase their desire to become "famous" and connected with other "celebrities" or "social media influencers". It is obvious, through their vlogs or updates, that they are very materialistic, obsessed with broadcasting how much they get to enjoy this fleeting dunya, and desperate to prove their affluence or ability to afford expensive products despite claiming they advocate humility. 

2] They've made it clear somehow that they prefer secular education to learning more about Islam. Although Allah the Almighty has granted them so much wealth, they don't put a single effort into doing charity for Allah's sake, financially assisting the needy whenever they can, and/or sending their child/kids to an Islamic school. They're the kind of snobs who'd arrogantly look down on you if they discover that you haven't attained any degree, unaware of how Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala cares more about the good deeds we strive to do for His sake than collecting degrees to impress society.

3] They treat their name as if it's a special "brand" and get easily offended if it's mispronounced, misspelled or omitted from a list of "VIPs". 

4] A lot of them narcissists would leave an online forum or group chat once they've had enough of not receiving the type of attention or preferential treatment they expect. They desperately need to feel widely recognized and appreciated, and they're prone to feeling depressed when their unreasonable expectations aren't met. 

5] While they eagerly crave your compliments, reassuring comments and words of encouragement from you on their Facebook page, YouTube channel or Instagram feed etc. ironically they've never, at least once, showed support for your values, projects or beliefs. Genuinely supporting others isn't easy for many narcissists to do because they aspire to outshine every individual they meet. 

✅ When dealing with narcissists: 

1] Don't take offense if they ignore you, dismiss your opinions or act disrespectful, particularly if they got bored by you not spoiling them with freebies and flattery. 

2] Don't behave as though you admire them mainly for their riches or "flawless" outward appearance. Doing so would only overinflate their gigantic ego. The bigger their pride / kibr, the more challenging it becomes for them to accept the truth, apologize when wrong, and welcome sincere advice.

3] Don't be surprised if they resort to despicable bullying, gossiping or the silent treatment to manipulate you into begging for their "friendship" or agreeing to doing something disagreeable they requested.

~•~

📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "No one who has the weight of a seed (or atom) of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise." Someone said, "But a man loves to have beautiful clothes and shoes." The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, Allah is Beautiful and He loves beauty. Arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on the people."

In another narration, the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "No one who has the weight of a seed of faith in his heart will enter Hellfire."

Source: Sahih Muslim 91

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-actual-narcissists-vs-actually.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/11/tips-nine-signs-that-youre-not.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-nine-signs-of-actual-narcissists.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/12/tips-ways-to-tell-if-your-friend-or.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/06/tips-five-things-we-must-not-expect.html 

Tips: What "Grown-up" Bullies Often Do And How To Deal With Jealous Females

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Five tactics of jealous females and "adult" (yet emotionally immature) bullies to disrupt your self-esteem: 

1] Deliberately doing whatever they can to make you feel like an outcast, denying you from participating in their group activities without a sensible reason, and frequently excluding you from gatherings in which mutual acquaintances were invited to. 

2] Talking loudly amongst themselves as they narrate random stories on how they enjoyed a get-together, desperately wanting you to feel as though you're missing out on their toxic companionship. 

3] Eagerly gossiping about your flaws and mistakes, while remaining quiet with deep-seated jealousy whenever you express gratitude to Allah the Almighty for some achievements or when you do something commendable. 

4] Purposely lying to you on a regular basis, breaking promises and making you feel excited for certain plans only to cancel them later on to fool around with your emotions, desperate to see you feel depressed, less productive and less motivated to achieve your goals. 

5] Treating you disrespectfully, ignoring your greetings, and leaving most of your messages on "seen" mode when they find the opportunity to distress you. Their intense envy of you is what provokes them to treat you rudely. 

Since witnessing that you're better than them in many ways makes them feel insecure, they'd do whatever they can to bring you down to their low level. Abstain from disrespecting yourself by refusing to copy their lousy acts and don't bother spreading rumors about them, just as lions wouldn't alter the way they sound to match the braying of donkeys and eagles don't surrender their wings to imitate chimpanzees obsessed with swinging around branches of trees. 

✅ When dealing with "grown-up" bullies: 

1] Avoid instantly believing in their lies and fakery. Whatever story they forward to you shouldn't be taken too seriously. 

2] Completely unfollow their social media posts and refrain from interacting with them unnecessarily. 

3] For Allah's sake, treat them with general courtesy without feeling compelled to become artificial besties with chronic liars. Keep your distance from anybody who is untrustworthy and whose rudeness confirms they're understandably envious of you. 

~•~ 

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is one who is trusted by the people. The Muslim is one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe (not guilty of backbiting, telling lies, and deliberately committing injustice). The emigrant (muhaajir) is one who emigrates away from evil. By the One (Allah the Almighty) in Whose Hand is my soul, a servant will not enter Paradise if his neighbor is not secure from his harm."

Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 515 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna'ut 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: 'Allah has decreed what He wills.' Verily, the phrase ‘if only’ opens the way for the work of shaytan." 

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/10/poem-as-muslim-dont-be-rude-and-insecure.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-signs-of-immature-adults-what-it.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/tips-some-ways-to-cope-with-bosses.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/06/tips-five-things-which-insecure-females.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/10/tips-on-dealing-with-adult-bullying.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/06/note-more-tips-on-how-to-deal-with.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/03/tips-nine-likely-reasons-why-some.html 

Poem: Why I'm Okay With Polygyny

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

💌 Although my husband's lips have touched another woman's,
And with that other woman he's blessed with two children,
I continue loving him, and he's still my husband.
Our love was written by Allah Who planned this union.
~•~
It's a permission from Allah, not obligation,
For men to marry more for additional blessings -
Husbands who are capable without finance problems,
For wives whose love for Allah exceeds their emotions.

~•~

As a Muslim, don't question Allah's Laws and Wisdom.
Allah's Legislations come with purpose and reasons.
Polygyny is for those who desire more children,
And who wish to increase the Ummah's population.

~•~

It trains women to be patient, tough, independent,
Reliant upon Allah with peaceful contentment,
Confident of Allah's Love, knowing their men love them,
Preferring Jannah's bliss over worldly enjoyment.

~•~

Polygyny trains men to thrive at time management,
Raising big families without any negligence,
Comforting each wife with justice and reassurance
That Jannah is our goal and this world's not permanent.
~•~

This love is a blessing when it's an encouragement
To love Allah much more than I love my own husband,
Not forgetting my rights nor my man's expectations,
Striving to keep this connection strong with sweet patience.
~•~
True love for Allah's sake is what keeps this bond strengthened,
Despite not savoring my man's presence each second.
I pray that Paradise is our place of reunion,
As a prize for patiently loving my other half. Ameen.
~•~

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu anhu narrated that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu alaihi wa sallam said:

"The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1467

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu anhu narrated that Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu alaihi wa sallam said, “If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband.”

Source: Sunan Al-Tirmidhi 1159

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Tirmidhi 

Ali Al-Qari said, “That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah.”

Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātīḥ 5/2125

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-my-answer-to-what-made-you-accept.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-seven-misconceptions-about.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/tips-when-is-polygyny-better-than.html 

https://abukhadeejah.com/characteristics-of-a-righteous-wife-in-light-of-the-quran-and-sunnah-part-1/

💚 

Tips: Some Advice To Each Muslim Wife Who Dislikes Her Husband's Attitude

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful  

📑 Nine tips to each Muslim wife who recently got married and realized she dislikes her husband’s attitude or discovered that they are both very incompatible: 

1] Remind yourself of the main reason why you willingly accepted this man’s marriage proposal – to marry for Allah’s sake and journey together to Jannah Paradise. A lot of those who get married for ulterior or selfish motives eventually break up because their niyyah / intention of marrying wasn’t a good one. 

2] Admit that you too are imperfect and there are certain aspects about yourself which your husband may not find agreeable. If you’re filled with numerous defects and shortcomings, why should you expect your spouse to be completely “flawless” and never prone to disappointing you once in a while? 

3] Try to learn from the mistakes which your husband often does and respectfully advise him on what he must do when he’s in the mood to listen. Refrain from disturbing him when he just arrived from work or you can sense that he’s struggling with depression. 

4] If there’s actually something about his personality or negative habits which you can’t stand, then clearly inform him about your disappointments in a gentle way. If you lack the confidence to verbally express your wants and needs, then demonstrate to him and indirectly teach him how to behave instead, while patiently including him in your loving Du’as, praying to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta’aala that He keeps your marriage blessed and grants your other half more guidance to the deeds which lead to Jannatul Ferdaus.

5] Rather than focusing on your husband’s undesirable qualities, make effort to appreciate his admirable attributes and tolerable traits, such as his cute sense of humor and determination to earn halal income. 

6] Look at the bright side of your willingness to stay married with him for Allah’s sake until one of you passes away before the other. Aspire to attaining more rewards and love from Allah the Most Wise for striving to maintain patience with the man whom He Subhaanahu wa Ta’aala wisely chose for you. Being patient with your soulmate isn’t an implication that you sadistically tolerate abuse but you sincerely cherish your other half for Allah’s sake much more than your ego and pride.

7] If there’s an unresolved misunderstanding between you and your soulmate, and you’re serious about fixing the problem, courageously request some of your family members and his relatives to have a harmonious group discussion on finding effective solutions to strengthen the connection which Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta’aala destined, or if you don’t want others to get involved, arrange a heartfelt talk with your husband when he isn’t physically and emotionally fatigued. 

8] List as many as you can all the disadvantages of insisting on asking your husband for a divorce. What makes you so sure that you won’t feel regretful once you’ve become a divorcee or several individuals regard you as notorious for having multiple divorces, particularly due to petty causes and impatience?

9] Understand that entering marriage life doesn’t mean you’ll be entirely devoid of stress, sadness and worries. When you become a wife and strive to remain loyal to your spouse for Allah’s sake, expect more challenges to arise which are designed to train you to have Sabr and Shukr for Allah’s sake as a Muslim. 

The more you pass Allah’s tests, including the different trials in your marital life, 

Inn-sha-Allah the more your status or level in Jannah Paradise may rise. 

Don’t let shaytan win against you and your husband.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes."

Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 4252

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albaani

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I were to order anyone to prostrate to another, I would have ordered a wife to prostrate before her husband."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhī 1159

Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to At-Tirmidhi

Ali Al-Qari said, "That she prostrates to her husband is due to the number of his rights over her and her difficulty in maintaining gratitude for them. This rhetorical point conveys the obligation of the wife to obey her husband in his rights. Indeed, prostration is not lawful to anyone other than Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala."

Source: Mirqāt Al-Mafātih 5/2125

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1467

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/01/poem-love-for-allahs-sake-and-marriage.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/05/tips-checklist-to-determine-if-your.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/01/note-checklist-to-determine-if-your.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/note-patiently-understand-and-empathize.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/02/tips-seven-ways-to-be-respectful.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/02/poem-divorce-may-lead-to-regret-if-you.html

https://abukhadeejah.com/the-regulations-of-khula-the-annulment-of-a-marriage-at-the-request-of-the-wife/

💚