Tips: Let Your Loving Your Husband For Allah's Sake Be Much Bigger Than Your Ego

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Three things which you can do when any of your husband's actions may at times be disappointing or questionable, to protect your marriage and continue appreciating your soulmate for Allah's sake patiently: 

1] Imagine being in a social experiment show or prank episode in which shaytan is the actual perpetrator behind your husband's confusing acts. Your husband only misconducts himself because the accursed shaytan is the one compelling him (your zawj) to do this and that - a bit like a nosy spy who despises himself so much so that he's desperate to spoil others' joys and the only time this obnoxious outsider feels delighted is when you overreact emotionally to your husband's errors or display the reaction that our archenemy shaytan expects. Avoid behaving in a way that would cause shaytan to feel "accomplished" for his evil plots. Instead, apply astounding empathy, courageously forgive your other half for Allah's sake, encourage yourself to recall all of the sweet and admirable things he has done and given to you in the past and present, and acknowledge the truth that he's just like you in being a human who's prone to making mistakes every now and then. 

2] Steadfastly pray for and hope for better days to come. A few moments of misunderstanding or disappointment shouldn't urge you to cowardly quit a blessed journey (marriage) which Allah the Most Wise has destined and planned even before you and your dear spouse were born. Part of truly loving each other for Allah's sake is to be consistent in genuinely pardoning one another and preventing ego/pride/kibr from ruining a beautiful connection. If your husband acted distant or grumpy on a particular date, look forward

Inn-sha-Allah to witnessing his positive transformation and progress in the future. 

3] Confidently remind yourself that your husband isn't supposed to be "perfect" twenty-four-seven and this temporary earth is definitely not "heaven". A strong and stable connection with Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala is what can measure and influence how happy you actually are from within. Eternal happiness can't be derived from being attached to another mortal who's imperfect like you are. Way better than being happy is to be sincerely contented with the innumerable blessings which Allah the Most Wise chose to grant you, and from those special gifts is your beloved husband whom you refuse to give up on because your loving him for Allah's sake and desire to reunite with him in Jannah Paradise tremendously outweigh any drama and imperfection.

~•~

📖 Umm Salamah RadhiAllahu 'anha narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Any woman who dies while her husband is pleased with her, she will enter Jannah (Paradise)."

[At-Tirmidhi, who classified it as Hadith Hasan]

Riyad As-Salihin 286

In-book reference: Introduction, Hadith 286

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1467

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

https://abukhadeejah.com/characteristics-of-a-righteous-wife-in-light-of-the-quran-and-sunnah-part-1/

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-advice-to-those-wives-struggling.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/11/poem-righteous-muslim-wife-is-loving.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/08/tips-some-advice-to-each-muslim-wife.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/11/tips-dont-allow-shaytan-and-these.html

Links: Some Beneficial Islamic Lectures On SoundCloud

🔊 A few playlists of Salafi lectures on marital or family affairs out of many available playlists:

1✅ Building a Happy Muslim Family

https://on.soundcloud.com/Lif9ycyUFRuVk9Ji9

2✅ A Woman’s Guide to Raising a Family

https://on.soundcloud.com/CsmWBjKZed8FzwLe7

3✅ The Responsibility of Fatherhood and Advice to Sisters Raising their Sons Alone

https://on.soundcloud.com/TNsmu68dTjHTbuM2A

4✅ The Importance of Islamic Cultivation 

https://on.soundcloud.com/KAjhbbMpQyuJ3eKU6

5✅ Life of a Young Muslim 

https://on.soundcloud.com/Q3PuFFdrQFC9yvQM6

6✅ Readings from “A Beautiful Example of that which has come Concerning Women”

https://on.soundcloud.com/toerZ4joh8w2HkfcA

7✅ The Characteristics of a Righteous Muslim Wife

https://on.soundcloud.com/Xp7bNqZHQtJgA7dS9

8✅ Establishing an Islamic Home

https://on.soundcloud.com/dFerxAN4npDqYkR49

Poem: To my dear daughter Hajar and to her half siblings

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 To my daughter and her half siblings, some tips from me, 

From your dad's first wife who loves him for Allah truly: 

Dear Hajar, Yusuf, Zara and, if Allah decrees, 

To your future half siblings if your dad remarries, 

Some random advice as I care for your well-being:

~•~

Firmly believe that our goal in life is to only 

Worship Allah the True King Who made the lands and seas, 

And the blessings which Allah gave us must be our means 

And tools to sincerely please Allah the Almighty. 

Serving just Allah is our topmost priority.

~•~

Never be a slave to foul desires, society 

And brief feelings which distract us from integrity. 

When happy, thank Allah. When sad, keep calm, persevere, 

And seek at least one merit amidst difficulties, 

Such as moments to speak to Allah more frequently.

~•~

When angry, say some Dhikr, drink water, take a seat 

Or have a nap, and analyze very carefully

The outcomes of overreacting due to fury. 

When you make mistakes, as you're human undoubtedly, 

Do Tawbah, learn from your faults, pray for Allah's Mercy.

~•~

As for jealousy, overcome it by patiently 

Accepting Allah's Qadr and believing that He 

Gives what He wants to whom He wills with wisdom that's clear 

And obvious to Him Only. Allah the Almighty 

Always knows what's best for us while we can be naive.

~•~

Educate yourself about Islam regularly 

Through resources which are valid, safe and trustworthy. 

Learn Arabic as well so you can effectively 

Understand Allah's Words, the Qur'an, so when you read, 

With the Tafseer, in your faith Imaan there's an increase.

~•~

Maintaining high grades and collecting college degrees 

Are less important than good manners and righteous deeds. 

Not looking "flawless" or failing board exams really

Isn't a big deal. What matters most importantly 

Is we pass Allah's tests and deserve Jannah's entry.

~•~

If you were to choose your career, my advice would be 

To select the one which you believe can bring you near 

Allah's Love while the workplace doesn't cause you to leave 

Or neglect your values and responsibilities, 

Specially our duties to Allah the Almighty. 

~•~

Know that real bliss isn't in earning money swiftly 

Nor in having many fans from friends and family, 

But true happiness can be found with Allah Only. 

Strong connection with Allah can surely guarantee 

Serenity and contentment enjoyed thoroughly.

~•~

Dear children of my husband, care for your families, 

Always forgive each other, pay visits frequently, 

Remind each other to pray to Allah faithfully

And to never let pride/kibr defeat unity. 

shaytan is amused when Muslims argue aimlessly.

~•~

Be brave enough to pardon, even if inwardly 

It hurts. Unpleasant feelings subside eventually. 

People, things, earth and emotions are temporary. 

Stay connected to Allah and you won't feel empty. 

Pray we meet in Jannah where joy is for eternity. 

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "When the human being dies, his deeds end except for three: Ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge (which he shared with others and left behind), or a righteous child who prays for him."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1631

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-encouragement-to-bring-up.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/11/hadith-virtues-of-raising-righteous.html 

🗂️ Da'wah According To The Noble Qur'an And Sunnah Of The Beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam. (Summary - PDF not for sale)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TxcfC6YawDkCh94m-4swRJk7jYbnhFlX/view?usp=drivesdk

📁 Just Sharing Islam (1st ebook of 103 selected Islamic poems - PDF not for sale)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1U012hrM67qh3IFgEx8QYo4XtByA29YT8/view?usp=drivesdk

📂 Journeying Back To Jannah (2nd ebook of 135 selected Islamic poems - PDF not for sale)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TxjFxF8gey4ZtjG_WZqjBrpRNpm3lJcL/view?usp=drivesdk 

https://abukhadeejah.com/twelve-steps-in-cultivating-our-children/

https://abukhadeejah.com/how-the-righteous-cultivate-their-children-ebook/

https://salaficentre.com/tag/children/

Note: Some Phrases Which Most INTJs Would Never Say

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful

📝 Some phrases which most INTJs would never say: 

1] "Let's become instant besties!"

🔲 It usually takes a long time for several INTJ personality types to regard someone as an actual friend, since they are typical introverts who are very selective regarding who they pay attention to. Even if an INTJ may perceive you as a potential confidant, it can sometimes be tricky to confirm if they've already formed a friendship with you or if they still see you as a complete stranger. 

🌼 From the signs that an INTJ Muslim feels at ease with you: 

1• Whenever there's an opportunity to meet, some INTJs would frequently go out of their way to prolong conversations with you and inquire more about yourself, not to seem obnoxiously inquisitive but to educate themselves about you as they are interested in strengthening the meaningful connection for Allah's sake. 

2• They regularly ask you for advice and likewise welcome tips or feedback from you. This rarely occurs if the INTJ doesn't consider you trustworthy and part of their tiny circle of carefully selected close friends. 

3• They enthusiastically teach you or inform you about topics which they're familiar with and occasionally share some helpful links or knowledge that they hope you can benefit from. 

2] "I feel offended that they think I'm weird." 

🔳 INTJs aren't afraid of standing out and differing from the crowd. In fact, some INTJs would gladly and intentionally try to look unconventional or different as ensuring group harmony twenty-four-seven and ignorantly following trends don't really intrigue them. 

3] "Of course people's opinions about me matter a lot." 

🔲 No they don't.

4] "Forget about doing the right thing. What matters is that we all pretend to agree with each other and get along happily ever after."

🔳 INTJs are from the 16 MBTI personality types who are truly concerned for their values, beliefs and integrity, regardless of people's emotions and perceptions. Making enemies doesn't upset them, so long as they are aware of the fact they're not purposely committing any serious offense. 

5] "I always know everything." 

🔲 While INTJs are intuitive and often amazing at guessing games, from the aspects of being Muslim is to firmly believe that Only Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala knows about all things and everything about His servants. 

~•~

📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah, and withholds for the sake of Allah has perfected the faith (Imaan)."

Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4681

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is one who is trusted by the people. The Muslim is one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe (not guilty of backbiting, telling lies, and deliberately committing injustice). The emigrant (muhaajir) is one who emigrates away from evil. By the One (Allah the Almighty) in Whose Hand is my soul, a servant will not enter Paradise if his neighbor is not secure from his harm."

Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 515 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna'ut

📖 Ali Ibn Husayn RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, part of perfection in Islam is for a person to leave what does not concern him."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2318

Grade: Sahih li ghayri (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/10/tips-five-types-of-people-we-can-avoid.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-choosiness-of-most-intjs-when-it.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/09/tips-3-things-that-intj-personality.html 

https://personalitygrowth.com/what-your-natural-communication-skills-are-like-based-on-your-personality-type/

Note: On Patience With My Dear Husband And Pickiness When It Comes To Choosing My Close Friends

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📜 Question: As an INTJ, why is it so easy for you to forgive your husband in spite of his numerous mistakes or frequent delays in answering many of your messages while you become completely disinterested in befriending certain individuals after they disappoint you more than thrice? Aren't they human beings also who deserve a lot of chances for reconciliation? 

📝 Answer: Allah the Almighty knows best. It's because I'm very selective when it comes to choosing who I can regard as close friends for Allah's sake. I imagine my husband being a precious diamond and valuable gift granted to me by Allah the Most Wise, as a trust which I should strive to keep and carry with me on this special journey to our Creator Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. In contrast, the people whom I occasionally meet and communicate with are like bamboo stems or long rods made of metal or wood which could be useful for constructing bridges leading to a particular goal - in a way that is meaningful and positive, not manipulative. If a person turns out to be insincere and unreliable, they'd be like a torn down plant or damaged tool which isn't useful despite multiple attempts to restore it. No peace can be found in trying to reconnect with somebody whose disconcerting presence often reminds you of their selfishness, bad motives and unreliability. Better to find a different route to your destination than to build a flimsy bridge which could result in swift destruction. 

My husband can also be likened to an incredibly expensive fountain pen given to me as a souvenir from another loved one. The writing instrument being costly but refillable and its case being decorated with pure gold cause me to feel reluctant about discarding it that easily. On the other hand, the people whom Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala wants me to interact with are like coloring pencils. If they're blunt, broken or not sharpened while I don't have a sharpener or have no reason to color anything, attempting to connect with them can be challenging, especially if one must be careful regarding colored pencils which can't color properly or don't have pigment (actual substance or significance) in them. 

My understanding of true love is to continue loving the man whom Allah the All-Knowing wisely selected as your other half and soulmate, only for Allah's sake, with patience (Sabr) and gratitude (Shukr), until one of you is brought back to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala for the evaluation on how well you passed Allah's varying examinations. 

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes."

Source: Sahih Ibn Ḥibbān 4252

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A woman is married for four things: Her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman otherwise you will be a loser."

Sahih Al-Bukhari 5090

In-book reference: Book 67 Hadith 28

USC-MSA web (English) reference: Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 27 

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1467

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/05/poem-what-happens-when-allah-most-wise.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/12/poem-what-is-it-like-to-love-your.html 

https://abukhadeejah.com/characteristics-of-a-righteous-wife-in-light-of-the-quran-and-sunnah-part-1/

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/03/poem-what-inspires-you-to-forgive-your.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-demerits-of-divorce.html 

https://personalitygrowth.com/how-good-each-personality-type-is-with-forgiveness/

https://personalitygrowth.com/intj-broken-trust-dealing-with-trust-issues-as-an-intj/