Note: Some Tips On How To Deal When A Person Lies To You

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Question: What would your usual reaction be if a person told you a lie and you can sense that they lied to you on purpose?

📝 Answer: If an individual approached me saying something like "You and your husband were thinking of recording some (so-called) Anasheed like a duet in the past, he'd play the guitar while you'd write the (so-called) Nasheed lyrics but then you both did Tawbah and cancelled that idea since you learned that listening to music is something we should abstain from as Muslims? Are you joking? I don't believe your husband can play any musical instrument, let alone you and him planning on doing any fun activity together - ever." or "From the cities you've traveled to were London, Paris, Hong Kong, Bangkok, Cairo, Copenhagen, Aalborg, Orlando and NYC back in the 90s, yes? But in your dreams or imagination only, I bet." or "Give me the amount of money you agreed to pay so you can receive the ticket, I didn't notice your name on the list." or anything to imply that they're being untruthful, sarcastic or they are falsely accusing me of lying, I would: 

1] Firstly imagine all of the probable reasons why they'd act that way and try to figure out their actual motives for acting obnoxiously. Are they being dishonest because they're truly ignorant of some info or are they attempting to play some sort of childish prank to get back at me for doing something which offended their feelings previously while I wasn't aware of their ego getting hurt that time? Or are they inventing ridiculous lies about me to feel better about their insecure selves, almost in the same way a fictional donkey would label a lion a "mule" or "chimpanzee" so it feels superior due to its ability to describe anything it considers as a threat in the way that would make it feel bigger somehow?  

2] Put some effort into empathizing or understanding the negative emotions (feeling jealous, intimidated, inferior, threatened, ignorant etc.) which provoked their urge to lie or conduct themselves badly. (So this specimen is inventing lies again because they can't stand the fact that I * mention something which they're undeniably envious of *? I see. That explains it. I'll take it as an emphasized confirmation to avoid connecting with them on a deeper level as they are clearly unreliable.)

3] Become more inspired to avoid imitating them in their untrustworthiness and lack of good morals. 

4] Become more cautious, reserved and quiet whenever I must interact with them in the future, since they've proven to be untrustworthy. 

5] Recall that even many of Allah's Prophets 'alaihim as-salaam, including the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam who warned us against falsehood, also dealt with some of the unbelievers' fallacies, derision and deceptions. Striving to be truthful for Allah's sake as much as possible doesn't guarantee that every soul on planet earth will likewise treat you with integrity 24/7. 

~•~

📖 Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "You must be truthful. Verily, truthfulness leads to righteousness and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man continues to be truthful and encourages honesty until he is recorded with Allah as a truthful person. And beware of falsehood. Verily, falsehood leads to wickedness and wickedness leads to the Hellfire. A man continues to tell lies and encourages falsehood until he is recorded with Allah as a liar."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5743 

Sahih Muslim 2607

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

📖 Abdullah Ibn 'Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "There are four signs that make someone a pure hypocrite and whoever has them has a characteristic of hypocrisy until he abandons it: When he speaks, he lies; when he makes a covenant, he is treacherous; when he makes a promise, he breaks it; and when he argues, he is wicked."

Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 34, Sahih Muslim 58

Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 

📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever has three traits is a hypocrite, even if he fasts, prays, goes to Hajj and Umrah, and claims to be a Muslim. When he speaks, he lies. When he promises, he breaks it. When he is trusted, he betrays it."

Source: Musnad Abī Ya’lá 4039

Grade: Hasan li ghayrihi according to Al-Albani

https://www.salafisounds.com/truthfulness-leads-to-piety-khutbah-by-abu-khadeejah-abdul-wahid/

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/01/tips-negative-qualities-which-many.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/10/note-dont-bother-arguing-with-liars-who.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/01/tips-three-reasons-why-most-people-cant.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/08/poem-dont-be-from-two-faced-hypocrites.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/09/poem-deluded-narcissists-dont-flatter.html 

https://personalitygrowth.com/heres-how-much-of-a-truth-seeker-you-are-based-on-your-personality-type/

Note: When Does An INTJ Consider Someone As A Friend

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📜 Question: Regardless of your MBTI personality type, how do you choose your friends, or when would you consider somebody as a "good friend"? 

📝 Answer: As an introvert (INTJ) I generally don't walk around actively or desperately searching for friends. I believe that it's possible

Inn-sha-Allah to thrive in both worlds without numerous long-lasting friendships, particularly if not every individual whom you're destined to meet can be regarded as completely honest and reliable. I also don't wait nor yearn for anybody to interact with me several times until they reach the point when we both consider each other as "friends". 

Alhamdulillah I'd say that while I have a lot of acquaintances of various tribes and nationalities, only a small number of them are individuals whose personal lives I genuinely care about for Allah's sake and out of that select few there could be less than a handful whom I'd regard as actual friends even if they probably perceive me as merely an acquaintance. 

How do I select my friends? Definitely not at random and not according to similarity. Just because someone is around my age, wears the niqaab when outdoors, can speak English fluently, was born in Saudi Arabia like I was or they enjoy writing poetry occasionally, it doesn't mean that I'll automatically become enthusiastic about befriending them, as if my main mission in life is to gather as many clones or carbon copies as I can to form some kind of battalion. 

What I'd usually do if I must categorize people is I would disqualify a person from being a "potential friend" once they've done any of these: 

1] if they deliberately lied to me more than once. 

2] if they caused me to waste time doing something pointless, absurd or unproductive more than once. 

3] if they're boring conversationalists online and offline, if they don't know how to have deep conversations, if you feel as though you're tediously interviewing or investigating them whenever you attempt to have a meaningful dialogue. 

4] if I overheard them cowardly backbiting about me or criticizing any of my loved ones, especially my dear husband. 

5] if we've known each other's names for more than five years but so far neither of us have taken the initiative to spend time together outdoors at least twice. 

6] if they regularly show signs of nervousness or discomfort whenever they speak with me, as though they're guilty of something and trying to conceal it. 

7] if they have a tendency to act overly emotional and passive-aggressive, if they've complained to any of my relatives about me instead of discussing the problem with me directly - I'd regard the snitch as someone whom I can't trust anymore because any information I try to share with them could be misconstrued. 

I'd consider someone as a friend if: 

1] I openly make effort to support their halal business or hobbies whenever I can online and/or offline. 

2] I don't feel bored asking them questions about themselves and their interests etc. 

3] I oftentimes go out of my way to visit them (at least once a year), send them a message (at least once every three months or so) or ask for their advice. 

Trying to maintain connection with lots of people can drain your energy if you're an introvert. So don't be surprised if some introverts aren't very likable or approachable, specifically if amassing fans or supporters isn't one of our primary goals.

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi

📖 Abu Darda RadhiAllahu 'anhu said: "A righteous companion is better than loneliness, and loneliness is better than an evil companion. A good writer is better than one silent, and one silent is better than an evil writer."

Source: Rawdat Al-‘Uqalā 56

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-choosiness-of-most-intjs-when-it.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/02/note-can-intj-personality-type-feel.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/07/note-five-benefits-of-being-socially.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/07/note-five-reasons-to-be-carefully.html 

https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/2018/10/19/5-steps-to-making-friends-with-an-intj/

Note: Prayed Salat Al-Istikhaara Then Regretted Your Decision? Stay Patient. Don't Regret Your Marriage.

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

🗒️ Question: If a Muslimah prayed two Sunnah Rak'ahs of Salat Al-Istikhaara before accepting the marriage proposal of a Muslim who seems likable to both of her parents, but then after some time of being together she discovered that her husband has a bad temper and another wife with kids, what is the point of praying Salat Al-Istikhaara if this woman starts feeling regretful about her decision? 

📝 Answer: Allah the Almighty knows best. 

This woman will Inn-sha-Allah receive rewards for striving to follow the Sunnah of the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam in praying Salat Al-Istikhaara prior to making important choices. Praying Salat Al-Istikhaara does not mean that whatever you decide to pursue or forgo will always be followed by outcomes which are completely devoid of defects and trials. When you pray Salat Al-Istikhaara, you're asking Allah the Almighty for guidance and reassurance. As long as you are alive on this imperfect planet earth, you as well as every other human being will not be exempted from Allah's occasional tests and challenges to examine the strength of your faith Imaan and to check if you indeed deserve a special ranking in the afterlife. Even Allah's Prophets 'alaihim as-salaam went through various difficulties occasionally. 

Praying Salat Al-Istikhaara before enthusiastically or willingly agreeing to a Muslim's proposal does not guarantee a one hundred percent flawlessly "happy marriage life" but you're entrusting your affairs to Allah the Most Wise whilst hoping that you're making the most ideal choice which brings you closer to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and Jannah Paradise. 

Maybe Allah the All-Seeing wanted you to become this man's first or second wife so that you, with Allah's Will, can inspire your spouse to become a better Muslim, so that by striving to love your other half sincerely for Allah's sake you earn countless rewards for your steadfast patience, and eventually you're qualified to motivate other Muslim wives to likewise remain grateful and patient throughout marriage. 

Don't allow our archenemy shaytan to destroy the blessed connection which Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala destined. Stop comparing your unique journey to other couples' love stories. The strategies which you can utilize to strengthen your marriage with your husband may not necessarily work out well for every other married individual. 

Ostriches and penguins can't be described as utter failures just because they are flightless birds. Nocturnal animals are not "useless" if they sleep a lot during daytime. Although a woman's husband may get irritated easily at times, she shouldn't deny the fact that he also has a lovable side and there are actually numerous aspects about him which she admires, such as his ambitiousness at work, physical strength and his eagerness to maintain strong ties with his relatives. 

By setting a good example 

Inn-sha-Allah, generously sharing her knowledge of Islam with her husband whenever he's available to listen, and regularly mentioning her husband's name in her loving prayers, gradually, little by little, she can observe some positive changes in her chosen soulmate. 

Your husband is Inn-sha-Allah an enormous blessing for you if through this marriage you've learned to become: 

1] More patient. 

2] More forgiving. 

3] More tolerant and understanding. 

4] More eager to strive for eternal joy in Jannah Paradise and less attached to this fleeting dunya. 

5] More aware of your actual purpose in life and less egoistic. 

6] More generous in many ways or less selfish through courageously accepting polygyny for Allah's sake. 

7] Motivated to inspire other Muslim wives to not give up on a marriage which can train us to love Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala much more than our nafs. 

Consistently remind yourself that 

Inn-sha-Allah the absolutely perfect version of your husband can be fully enjoyed in Jannah Paradise. 

~•~

📖 Sa'd Ibn Abi Waqqas RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, which of the people are most severely tested?” The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "They are the prophets, then the next best (in terms of piety/righteousness), then the next best. A man is put to trial according to his Deen/religion. If he is firm in his religion, his trials will be more severe (challenging). If he is weak in his religion, he is put to trial according to his strength in religion. The servant will continue to be put to trial until he is left walking upon the earth without any sin."

Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2398

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes."

Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 4252

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 

📖 Abdullah Ibn Amr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The world is enjoyment and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife."

Source: Sahih Muslim 1467

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim 

https://abukhadeejah.com/characteristics-of-a-righteous-wife-in-light-of-the-quran-and-sunnah-part-1/

https://www.salafisounds.com/the-characteristics-of-a-righteous-wife-lesson-2-by-abu-khadeejah-abdul-wahid/

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/03/note-on-topic-of-not-regretting.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/11/note-no-i-dont-regret-marrying-my.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2022/06/poem-how-can-you-tell-that-you-married.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-three-tips-to-stay-contented-with.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/08/note-three-tips-for-single-muslimahs-on.html 

💚

Poem: Divorce Is Permissible But It's Despicable To Me

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 While divorce for some females symbolizes "freedom" 

And "the best choice" to "escape" from a "loveless romance", 

I view it as a testament and confirmation

That an ex-wife's love wasn't real from the beginning. 

If it were true, she'd find solutions to stay with him.

~•~

While most regard divorce as the "correct decision" 

If the spouses can't deal with disputes, discontentment, 

And frequent absence, I see it as an evidence 

That they weren't determined enough to keep fighting

For their marriage and overall they lacked inner strength.

~•~

While divorce shows "courage" according to some women, 

To me it indicates cowardice and impatience, 

Selfishness in having too many expectations, 

Insincerity when defeated by distractions, 

And banality when unable to solve problems.

~•~

With the fact that divorce is lawful I've no problem. 

It's illogical though for a man and his woman 

To agree on breaking the beautiful connection,

Which Allah the Most Wise destined, for trivial reasons. 

Why disconnect a link when it's clearly a blessing?

~•~

Why follow the crowd that decides based on emotions? 

Why treat marriage like half-finished meals thrown by children

Who don't know the importance of proper consumption? 

If your spouse can get toxic, don't quickly discard them. 

Train them to improve and wait for their development.

~•~

Your husband ain't food that you can throw in the dustbin

When loving him can't be done to your satisfaction. 

He's a human, just like you, with flaws and shortcomings. 

Pass Allah's tests in marriage with lots of trust in Him 

And with the sort of patience that won't think of quitting. 

~•~

While divorce is viewed by some as the "right solution" 

To incompatibility and disappointments, 

I perceive it as a cowardly move or action 

Confirming that one's love wasn't really genuine. 

Links which lead to Allah shouldn't be quickly broken. 

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e. her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious (righteous Muslimah) woman (otherwise) you will be a loser." 

Sahih Al-Bukhari 5090

In-book reference: Book 67 Hadith 28

USC-MSA web (English) reference: Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 27 

📖 Thawban RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whenever a woman asks her husband for a divorce without a strong reason, the fragrance of Paradise becomes forbidden for her."

Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 2226

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna'ut 

📖 Jabir RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, shaytan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations (mischief, trouble). One of them says: 'I have done this and this.' shaytan says: 'you have done nothing.' Another one says: 'I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife.' shaytan embraces him and he says: 'you have done well!'" 

Source: Sahih Muslim 2813 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

https://abukhadeejah.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Righteous-Wife-P1-WEB-7.3-Print-Complete.pdf

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/10/poem-never-compare-your-halal-love.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/04/poem-why-i-despise-divorce-even-though.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/12/poem-demerits-of-divorce.html 

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2021/03/poem-dear-husband-thank-you-loving-you.html

https://youtu.be/a55_gXRWnUI

💚 

💎

Tips: Always Trust Allah The Almighty And You Can Cope Better With Social Anxiety

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 Five tips to cope better with social anxiety, 

Or social phobia, when you feel scared excessively 

Of socializing or being judged negatively, 

Feeling like people are always staring intently, 

Mostly unable to rest due to fears and worries:

~•~

One: As His servant, fear Only Allah Almighty 

Who controls all things, including Qadr/Destiny. 

Don't let your fear of people's judgment and enmity 

Stop you from serving Allah and striving to succeed. 

Concern with people's views mustn't become blasphemy.

~•~

Two: People care more about themselves generally. 

So while at times you wonder, "What do they think of me? 

Am I presentable? Did I behave decently?", 

Some question their choices or conduct similarly. 

Why impress humans who are not perfect entirely?

~•~

Three: Say the morning and evening Adhkaar frequently. 

A stable connection with Allah can guarantee 

Stronger levels of faith/Imaan, healthy self-esteem 

So you don't deem yourself unhappy or unworthy, 

And you seek Allah's Love, not fellow slaves' flattery.

~•~

Four: Understand if you cancel an activity, 

Like asking questions during class for more clarity 

Or correcting someone's mistake done innocently, 

All because of shyness, you miss out abundantly 

On the rewards of kindness and enjoining good deeds.

~•~

Five: Negative thoughts such as, "Shut up, you're nobody. 

Don't bother talking. You'll sound nervous, unclear and weird.

Keep pretending to be busy, so they won't come near." 

Stem from our enemy shaytan who wants us to fear 

Other creations to commit shirk indirectly.

~•~

Fear just Allah Who made us, grants guidance and can shield, 

Our Creator Allah Who owns all worlds, skies and seas. 

When you feel anxious around a strict boss, skilled colleagues, 

Or someone who displays more outstanding qualities, 

Calmly breathe and tell yourself, "Allah is Greater. HasbunAllah wa Ne'm Al-Wakeel.".

~•~

📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah’s noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, but there is goodness in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not be frustrated. If something befalls you, then do not say: 'If only I had done something else.' Rather say: "Allah has decreed what He wills." Verily, the phrase 'if only' opens the way for the work of shaytan."

Source: Sahih Muslim 2664

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

📖 Abu Sa'eed Al-Khudri RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever among you sees evil, let him change it with his hand (by stopping it physically). If he is unable to do so, then with his tongue (verbally, by warning or speaking against that wrongdoing). If he is unable to do so, then with his heart (by at least hating the sin instead of admiring the wrongdoers), and that is the weakest level of faith." 

Source: Sahih Muslim 49 

Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/04/poem-courage-in-islam.html

https://mjustsharingislam.blogspot.com/2020/05/note-when-to-have-shyness.html

https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/11879/%D9%85%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%86%D9%89-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AD%D9%8A%D8%A7%D8%A1