بسم الله. ربي زدني علما. امين

بسم الله. ربي زدني علما. امين
May Allah the Almighty grant us more beneficial knowledge, accept our good deeds, forgive our mistakes, protect us from fitna, and join us with the righteous believers in Jannatul Ferdaus. Ameen.

Saturday, February 18, 2023

Note: Adult Bullies And "Mean Girls"? Don't Be Too Stupid To Join Them.

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
💌 Five examples of situations in which bullying (or unfair treatment) among "adults" (in their late 20s, 30s, 40s etc.) can occur sometimes: 
1🔹 At one's workplace. For example: when some of your colleagues frequently exclude you from group meetings online and offline because of your weight, tribe/race/nationality or "intimidating" personality etc. 
2🔸 Among co-wives. For example: when you're the fourth wife and the first three wives dislike how their allowance has been significantly reduced because the husband has to divide the amount to be distributed as fairly as he can to the four women whom he loves for Allah's sake. Or when you're the third wife while the other two wives treat you as if you don't exist because you've recently embraced Islam and they assume you're just a "golddigger".
3🔹 Among entrepreneurs or managers of home-based businesses. For example: when a number of them evidently endorse one another while encouraging their supportive customers to boycott your products. 
4🔸 Among older students attending regular classes and lectures. For example: when some of them form a circle of close-knit friends and they consistently remind each other to deliberately ignore you as much as they can because they enviously perceive you as more competent and knowledgeable than them. 
5🔹 Among mothers of children enrolled at the same school. For example: when some of the moms split into various cliques and they all make you feel unwelcome whenever you try to interact with them. Deep-seated jealousy or awfully low self-esteem causes them to act disrespectfully. Perhaps your kids are more successful than theirs, they loathe how your inner beauty reminds them of their ugly insecurities, or they simply detest you for not being capable of speaking in their language or dialect. 
✅ How to cope with grownup bullies who are so immature and inwardly miserable despite their age: 
1] Thank Allah the Almighty that He did not make you as unhappy, agitated and ethically pathetic as they are. Alhamdulillah you're able to sleep soundly and peacefully while those emotionally disturbed bullies can't stand how acknowledging that you're way better than them in myriad ways compels them to constantly conspire against you. 
2] Unapologetically unfollow them on social media. Don't bother checking on their status updates filled with cowardly passive-aggressive rants and lame calumnies indirectly referring to you. 
When you discover that they went on an outing or event without you, do yourself an immense favor and gladly ignore the cheesy photos they upload which thankfully have no connection with you. Imagine yourself as an eagle or owl while those bullies are maggots or wild beasts enjoying themselves feasting on filth and mud. You're not missing out on anything valuable if a get-together fails to inspire you to become a better Muslim since most of the discussions involve gossip and petty complaints.
3] Shield yourself with Taqwa and firm trust in Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala. Don't be affected at all by what Allah's servants claim and assume about you, particularly if they themselves are the ones who are depressed and it's true that they don't know you entirely. 
4] Stay adamant and uncompromising when it comes to being selective and careful concerning your choice of close friends. Never feel sorry for yourself for avoiding toxic individuals and disengaging from those who clearly proved to you that they're untrustworthy due to their irrefutable envy towards you.
5] Remind yourself that you're not the only one in the entire universe who must counteract jealous opponents or deal with critics. Even our Only King and Creator Allah the Most Powerful Who owns the Most Magnificent Names and Attributes regularly witnesses ignorant acts and bad conduct from His slaves. 
May Allah the Most Loving forgive us always, protect our faith Imaan, cause us to hate whatever He hates, and guide us to the best deeds which lead to Jannatul Ferdaus with Allah's Mercy. Ameen. 
~•~
📖 Abu Dharr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Fear Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) wherever you are, follow a bad deed with a good deed and it will erase it, and behave well with good character towards the people."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1987
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to At-Tirmidhi
📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The believer is one who is trusted by the people. The Muslim is one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe (not guilty of backbiting, telling lies, and deliberately committing injustice). The emigrant (muhaajir) is one who emigrates away from evil. By the One (Allah the Almighty) in Whose Hand is my soul, a servant will not enter Paradise if his neighbor is not secure from his harm."
Source: Sahih Ibn Hibbān 515 
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna'ut
📖 Ali Ibn Husayn RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, part of perfection in Islam is for a person to leave what does not concern him."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2318
Grade: Sahih li ghayri (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Darda RadhiAllahu 'anhu said: "A righteous companion is better than loneliness, and loneliness is better than an evil companion. A good writer is better than one silent, and one silent is better than an evil writer."
Source: Rawdat Al-‘Uqalā 56 
📖 Abu Nu'aym reported: Fudayl Ibn 'Iyaad, may Allah have mercy on him, said, “If you mix with people, mix with those who have good character; it only invites to good. Do not mix with those who have bad character, for it only invites to evil.”
Source: Ḥilyat Al-Awliyā’ 11728

Poem: They Think I'm Jealous? They're Just Flattering Their Ego

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

💌 From my secrets to feeling unfazed by jealousy, 
Unaffected when some people try to purposely 
Make me "jealous" when their acts simply provoke pity, 
Are contentment and patience with Allah's Destiny, 
And positive self-talk which can augment self-esteem.
~•~ 
I believe Allah distributed His gifts wisely 
To His servants. No matter how much each soul receives, 
There's wisdom in what Allah gives, withholds, and retrieves, 
To observe if we'll respond with gratitude or greed, 
And if the blessings become keys to Jannah's entry.
~•~
If I sense that certain users online cheesily 
Post photos or status updates to arouse envy, 
I don't get "jealous", can't wish "if only that were me", 
As I refuse to admire anyone who's guilty 
Of inauthenticity or insecurities. 
~•~ 
If I feel that someone loves Allah the Almighty, 
While their faith/Imaan is firm and their good vibes are real, 
I reject invites from shaytan to greet jealousy, 
Since the gifts a soul enjoys come from Allah Only, 
And I don't take for granted what Allah chose for me.
~•~ 
If I truly "envied" some, I'd act ungraciously, 
Mistreating them and gossiping to soothe misery. 
Still I'm not "envious", can't question Allah's Decree, 
And when I spot things I want enjoyed by somebody, 
I thank Allah, knowing Allah knows what's best for me.
~•~ 
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Look to those below you and do not look at those above you, for it is the best way not to belittle the favors of Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala)."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6125 
Sahih Muslim 2963
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Envy consumes good deeds just as fire burns wood. Charity (Sadaqah) extinguishes sinful deeds just as water extinguishes fire. Prayer is the light of the believer and fasting is his shield from the Hellfire."
Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 4210
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Ibn Asakir 
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Faith and envy do not combine within a believing servant."
In another narration, the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Greed and faith are never combined in the heart of a (true Muslim) servant."
Source: Sunan Al-Nasā’ī 3109
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

Friday, February 17, 2023

Tips: How To Tell If Some Souls Weren't Destined To Connect With You

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📜 Question: How can you determine or sense that you and certain individuals were not destined by Allah the Most Wise to get along while you don't feel guilty at all about your disinterest in befriending them? 
📝 Answer: Allah the Almighty knows best. I believe that I and certain souls weren't meant to truly connect and become more than mere strangers:- 
1] ...when I am uninterested in learning more about their life story, interests, goals and personal background. Coming up with questions to ask them about themselves can be a challenge particularly if there are several things they've done which cause me to perceive them as "fake", pretentious, inauthentic and untrustworthy. 
2] ...when I am aware of their account/s on social media, including their YouTube channel or Facebook page/s if they manage one, but I never bothered to comment on or check out any of their posts, not even a single one, while more than seven months have already passed by. 
3] ...when it's obvious that I despise mentioning the word they selected to address themselves as, and I actively abstain from stating their first name vocally and in print as much as possible. 
4] ...when they've requested a number of individuals to go out with them someplace or to work on a project together and I actually feel delighted and relieved from within that they felt the need to exclude me so I am spared from enduring their rehearsed acts, absurd lack of basic good manners, and lousy lies they invent to massage their overly gargantuan ego.
5] ...when I don't expect any goodness from them, so I'm unsurprised whenever they do something supposedly disappointing or "offensive". To me, their awful efforts to act like overgrown yet still immature bullies indicate they've got to be intensely jealous of me for several reasons, perhaps because I'm okay with polygyny, have traveled to more than eleven countries and can understand some Arabic language Alhamdulillah, am married to a medical doctor and I am not the type of insecure female who feels envious easily etc. 
☑️ Note: Although I don't show interest in starting a friendship with those females (most of whom are ESFPs and ISFPs) who are incompatible with me, I avoid: 
1) Backbiting and gossiping about them. 
2) Treating them unjustly on purpose. 
3) Knowingly stealing from them and damaging any of their belongings. 
4) Disrupting their image and inviting "fans" to join me in despising them. 
5) Ignoring their salaams if they're Muslim or sharing constructive feedback if they politely request for my opinions. 
Lions aren't obliged to learn how to bark to achieve inner peace and contentment if some puppies enjoy barking at them for their attention, and for self-fulfilment a wolf doesn't have to chase disdainful donkeys when the latter start acting aloof and distant. 
~•~
📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah, and withholds for the sake of Allah has perfected the faith (Imaan)."
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4681
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to An-Nawawi
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are conscripted soldiers. They come together upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject." 
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109
Sahih Muslim 2638 
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

Tips: Don't Bother Trying To Reconnect With Jealous Narcissists Who Are Too Proud To Forgive You

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📜 Question: A group of friends and I had a falling-out (silly argument). I approached them to apologize for whatever I did that offended them but they still refuse to treat me in a friendly way like they used to. They even deleted me from their group chat and unfriended me on social media. What can I do to become close to them again? 
📝 Answer: A group of sad clowns, sorry, individuals with such gigantic ego and lousy oversensitivity, who are too obsessed with themselves that they can't let go of the past drama, aren't worthy of your companionship and attention. There's a stronger reason to avoid them for Allah's sake if they happen to be toxic narcissists who are excessively attached to this transient dunya while they fail so badly to inspire you to become a better Muslim. 
If Allah the Almighty observed any goodness in their hearts, He Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala could have guided them to becoming softhearted and humble enough to forgive you. Perhaps Allah the Most Wise allowed them to drift apart to protect you and your faith Imaan from their negative vibes, obnoxious competition accompanied by jealousy among themselves regarding materialism and ridiculous stuff, and their awful tendency of probably gossiping about you when you weren't listening to their absolute nonsense.
Imagine them being worms, snakes or leeches that decide to slither away from you once they discovered that you're a genuine diamond, with a tough surface, or "you can't mess around with me" persona that intimidates them, and they realized you can't provide them with the substance they're desperately searching for. To them, you can't spoil them with false flattery so they choose to avoid you. They're absolutely terrified of getting caught for concealing some ugly lies and invented tales about themselves to appear less plain or tedious, so they frequently exclude you from their shallow gatherings to make you feel as insecure and inwardly gloomy as they are because they despise seeing you cheerful, thriving and contented. 
Attain inner peace in patiently accepting Allah's Qadr/Decree and remind yourself that you weren't created in such a way to be appealing to every single soul whom Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala wants you to meet. Inevitably the more you appear successful or the more you emit good vibes due to strong faith Imaan, Taqwa and inner beauty, the more you may encounter envious females who resent you for being able to do multiple things which they can't carry out (for instance being capable of communicating in Arabic language Alhamdulillah or being one of the few formidable Muslimahs who are fine with polygyny etc.) or haven't yet accomplished. 
Don't force yourself to become "friends" again with people whose despicable pride and ignorance about Islam overshadow their willingness to demonstrate beautiful character. Who cares if they don't like you back, and why bother wishing to be liked by them if they, due to their insecurities, envy and inward misery, likely abhor themselves so much so that they are unwilling to beautify their souls with the strength to pardon other Muslims for Allah's sake? 
For Allah's sake move on confidently, unapologetically unfollow those who are too spiteful and sorrowful to be followed, and focus on doing what you believe can lead you closer to Allah's Love regardless of how His servants perceive us.
~•~
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The souls are conscripted soldiers. They come together upon what they recognize, and they differ upon what they reject." 
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 3109
Sahih Muslim 2638 
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Faith (Imaan) and envy do not combine within a believing servant."
In another narration, the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Greed and faith are never combined in the heart of a servant."
Source: Sunan Al-Nasā’ī 3109
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani 
📖 Aslam Al-Habashi RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Umar Ibn Al-Khattab RadhiAllahu 'anhu said, "Let not your love be infatuation and let not your hatred be destruction." It was said, "How is this?" Umar RadhiAllahu 'anhu said, "When you love someone, you become infatuated (obsessed) like a child. When you hate someone, you want destruction for your companion (sister or brother in Islam)."
Source: Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 1322
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani

Tips: Dealing With Awkward Moments As An INTJ Personality Type

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 

📜 Question: As a Muslim whose MBTI personality type is INTJ, how do you handle awkward situations? 
📝 Answer: Three examples of "awkward" moments I went through and sometimes do but I don't find them that bothersome: 
1] During our first years of settling in the Philippines after moving from Saudi Arabia when I was trying to practice Tagalog language, I told a salesperson something like "oh buntis ka? Ilan months buntis (pregnant)?" to which the person answered "lalaki ako" meaning "I'm a guy." and I responded with something like "oh sorry, ha! 
(A)kala ko babae ka" (I thought you're female). 
2] Asking an individual "how are you? And so how are you?" (like a malfunctioned android robot) a number of times in one conversation or too frequently in one day when I've already asked them how they're doing upon our initial greeting. 
3] Appearing ignorant when it comes to "formal dining" as the handle of the spoon or fork I'd be using would become messy at times, which is usually why I prefer to ask the staff at most restaurants where the washbasin is to wash my hands and eat with the right than struggle with utensils. 
➡️ How to avoid "awkward" moments: 
1] Think very carefully before you decide to do something and reflect in advance on the probable outcomes of your actions. 
2] Thoroughly analyze your surroundings and see if the environment or condition you're in is convenient or ideal for you to proceed with the task you're about to carry out. 
3] Considerately put yourself in the shoes of the other individual or group and imagine how they may react to your statements or feel about you after behaving in a certain way. 
Those three points are some of the things which a lot of INTJs consider unimportant or unnecessary since they prefer to be direct and straightforward, eager to achieve their goals efficiently without giving too much thought on people's emotions and opinions. This is why looking "awkward" isn't that big of a deal for us.
☑️ Some tips on dealing with "awkward" situations: 
1• Always live life to please and serve Only Allah the Almighty regardless of how His servants perceive you. As long as you believe that you're doing the right thing, without causing deliberate injury to anybody, you shouldn't care about how people view you. They're imperfect and prone to encountering "awkward" situations too.
2• Be aware that every feeling which you allow or encourage yourself to feel on earth is temporary. Feelings of "awkwardness" or slight "embarrassment" will 
Inn-sha-Allah gradually subside, especially if you busy yourself with more productive, meaningful and rewarding activities including reading from the Noble Qur'an with sincere intention and saying some Adhkaar regularly.
3• Be humble enough to recall that you're a human being, so it's normal to make errors now and then. Learn from your mistakes and others' faults, and avoid repeating them as much as possible. 
Being able to laugh at yourself when you make a mistake shows confidence and implies you are not the type of person to let temporary and trivial issues affect how you feel from inside. 
Shame or disgrace on the Day of Judgment is a lot worse than feeling temporarily "ashamed" or "awkward" in this transitory dunya. 
May Allah the Most Merciful always protect us from actual humiliation in both worlds. Ameen.
~•~
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day (the Day of Judgement), let him speak goodness or remain silent. Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him honor his neighbor. Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him honor his guest."
In another narration, the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam, "Let him not harm his neighbor."
And in another narration, the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Let him uphold family ties."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5672
Sahih Muslim 47
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
📖 Anas Ibn Malik RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "May Allah have mercy on a person who spoke rightly and was rewarded, or who was silent and remained safe."
Source: Shu’b Al-Imān 4579
Grade: Hasan (Fair) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "I guarantee a house on the outskirts of Paradise for one who leaves arguments even if he is right, and a house in the middle of Paradise for one who abandons lies even when joking, and a house in the highest part of Paradise for one who makes his character excellent."
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4800
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi
📖 Abu Dharr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Fear Allah wherever you are, follow a bad deed with a good deed and it will erase it, and behave well with good character towards the people."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1987
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to At-Tirmidhi