بسم الله. ربي زدني علما. امين

بسم الله. ربي زدني علما. امين
May Allah the Almighty grant us more beneficial knowledge, accept our good deeds, forgive our mistakes, protect us from fitna, and join us with the righteous believers in Jannatul Ferdaus. Ameen.

Monday, March 6, 2023

Tips: How To Deal With Older Adults Who Are So Jealous And Immature

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 
🗒️ Recently, a few days ago, while she was introducing me to her younger sisters visiting from a different city, this woman who was several years older than I am very strangely told me "look at her, she looks like an Arab, right? She looks more Arabian than you. She looks Arab! You? Not so" as if my main ambition in life is to look Middle Eastern. Even if she was simply goofing around or trying to soothe her ego, I found her odd behavior obnoxiously immature, particularly if she's forty something years old. I acknowledge that I can be really weird at times but not at the expense of others' identities or self-esteem. Her strange act of pointing out how I didn't look as "Arabian" as her sister did reminded me of that one time when another older female said to me something like "What? Your baby can't crawl yet? That's too bad. My baby knows how to crawl, and she's super fast at crawling!" I was around twenty-one or twenty-two years old that time while she was probably in her late thirties. Although she was a guest at our residence for a number of days, a part of me still wonders if she was responsible for damaging some of the toys and the stroller which we bought from Saudi Arabia.
Anyhow, Alhamdulillah, I've learned that when Allah the Almighty bestows on you a wide variety of blessings, inevitably you may encounter some intensely jealous clowns here and there, and as Muslims we must strive for Allah's sake to have patience with their lousy acts. 
A person being a lot older than us can't always guarantee that they've achieved maturity. So they're not qualified to offer advice regarding certain matters, especially if our interests, goals, personality and values conflict with each other.
❎ 3 Clear signs of awfully immature "adults": 
1] They frequently talk nonsense or utter uncalled-for remarks without first analyzing the probable outcomes of their ridiculous statements. 
2] Through their passive-aggressive behavior and despicable lack of good manners, it is obvious that they envy others' lives immensely. The only way for most of them to cope with unpleasant jealousy is by acting disrespectfully. Since they don't want to be the only ones suffering emotionally, they'd do whatever they can to ensure that other individuals suffer similarly.
3] They're extremely competitive while you're not even attempting to compete with them. They discovered that you traveled to France, England and Egypt? Maybe they'll desperately search for ways to travel to more countries than you and possibly daydream of flying to the moon before you reach it. 
✅ Some tips on dealing with immature "adults": 
1] Feel sorry for them. They must be so terribly unhappy from within that they have the need to spoil others' peace to feel better about their unsatisfied selves. 
2] Thank Allah the Most Loving that you are not as miserable, uncivilized and unprincipled as those immature "adults" are. It is much worse to be the sad bully who accumulates people's sins through oppression (dhulm / injustice) than to be the reason why the bullies are struggling with intense envy. 
3] Keep your distance from them as much as possible. Avoid them for Allah's sake online and offline when avoiding them is a lot more beneficial than starting an artificial dialogue. 
4] Never bother asking them personal questions which won't benefit you at all. Don't pay attention to the absurd lies they invent to impress their gargantuan ego.  
5] Recall how Allah's Prophets 'alaihim as-salaam, including the beloved Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam, were also tested with sometimes meeting difficult types of personalities. Just because your parents tried their best to educate you about how to properly conduct yourself around others, it doesn't mean that every single soul you speak to on earth will have the exact same attitude and upbringing as you. 
In this temporal dunya, we're bound to occasionally meet people who aren't beautiful on the inside so we can improve as Muslims in applying Sabr/patience and Shukr/gratitude (grateful to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala for not making us insecure and immature).
~•~
📖 Abu Dharr RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Fear Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) wherever you are, follow up a bad deed with a good deed and it will erase it, and behave well with good character towards the people."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1987
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to At-Tirmidhi 
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day (the Day of Judgement), let him speak goodness or remain silent. Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him honor his neighbor. Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him honor his guest."
In another narration, the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Let him not harm his neighbor."
And in another narration, the Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Let him uphold family ties."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5672
Sahih Muslim 47
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "I guarantee a house on the outskirts of Paradise for one who leaves arguments even if he is right, and a house in the middle of Paradise for one who abandons lies even when joking, and a house in the highest part of Paradise for one who makes his character excellent."
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4800
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi 

Saturday, March 4, 2023

Tips: My Advice On How To Stay Patient With One's Husband For Allah's Sake

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 
💌 Seven tips on how to maintain astounding patience with your husband / soulmate for Allah's sake: 
1] Frequently recall the main reason why you willingly accepted your husband's marriage proposal in the beginning - you married him sincerely to please Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and you want him to join you in your blessed journey towards attaining Jannah's entrance. 
2] Regularly remind yourself of all the loving gestures, kind favors and romantic things which your zawj has done in the past and present. Appreciate your husband's notable qualities and focus on his positive characteristics instead of making it a big deal that he's precisely similar to you in being imperfect. 
3] Always and faithfully trust Allah the Almighty while believing that better times shall 
Inn-sha-Allah arise and, with Allah's Decree, your husband's conduct and faith/Imaan can improve gradually. 
4] Thank Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala for wisely selecting this Muslim as your other half, spouse and soulmate. While many females worldwide have been wanting to receive at least one marriage proposal, you should be grateful Alhamdulillah that you're granted a husband who tries his best to care for his loved ones with the means and sustenance which Allah the Most Kind has destined for him. It is better to stay contentedly married for Allah's sake with a not so affluent spouse than to stupidly take pride in being single yet acting ignorant or flirtatious whenever some "attractive" non-mahrams are around.
5] Cleverly imagine the negative consequences of not staying patient with the man who Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala chose as your soulmate. Divorce is mostly a shortcut to dreadful remorse and guilt, especially if one's former husband still strives to be a better Muslim and it is evident that he is well-liked for his endearing personality. 
6] Adamantly believe that your husband actually loves you too for Allah's sake yet at times he may behave strangely due to excessive fatigue, temporary depression or being affected by someone's evil eye ('ayn) or an envious person's attempts to carry out black magic and sorcery, or some troublesome outsiders, such as jealous colleagues (who despise your blissful marriage life) or insecure co-wife, are the culprits behind the solvable problem. 
Fiercely remain loyal to your husband for Allah's sake and mention him lovingly in your supplications as often as you can. 
7] Anticipate more rewards from Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala and further elevation of your status
Inn-sha-Allah in Jannah Paradise whenever you train yourself to have patience with your husband for Allah's sake. 
Courageous and sincere efforts to be patient with Allah's slaves, to preserve your faith Imaan and strengthen your connection with Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, particularly practicing Sabr with your soulmate, will not go to waste.
~•~
📖 Thawban RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "The best wealth is a tongue that remembers Allah, a grateful heart, and a believing wife to help one in his faith."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 3094
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Sa'eed Al-Khudri RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Some people from the Ansaar asked the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam and he gave them. Then they asked for charity again and he SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam gave them. Then they asked again and he SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam gave them until all that he had was gone. The Prophet Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If I had anything, I would not withhold it. Whoever refrains from asking others, then Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) will make him contented. Whoever would be independent, then Allah will make him independent. Whoever would be patient, then Allah will make him patient. There is no gift that is better and more comprehensive than patience."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 6105
Sahih Muslim 1053
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

Note: What This INTJ Wife Admires About Her Dear ESFJ Husband

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 
💌 Nine noteworthy qualities which I truly admire about my dear husband whose MBTI personality type is ESFJ with enneagram 3w2: 
1] His efforts to become a better Muslim for Allah's sake every night and day, eager to frequently pray in the Masjid and recite several Ayaat / verses from the Noble Qur'an whenever he finds the beautiful opportunity to do so.
2] His steadfast care and concern for the well-being of his family and relatives. 
3] How he generally gives more importance to group harmony than acting selfishly, how he'd rather forgive from within and avoid conflict than constantly act like an argumentative and annoying git. 
4] How he's willing to offer some helpful tips when I ask him for advice and how he's remarkable at advising if he notices me doing something incorrectly or behaving inappropriately. 
5] How he's amazingly confident, charismatic and playful with infants and children. 
6] How much respect he shows to his mother, sisters and women in general, and how, unlike certain immature males with awfully low ambitions in life, he doesn't own a single fake profile to obnoxiously spy on and stalk female users online. 
7] His awesome culinary skills and how he's a much better chef than I am. 
8] How he encourages me to be more forgiving towards my brothers and loved ones, and how he inspires me to be more lenient and easygoing most of the time. 
9] His cute sense of humor and astounding ability to make me laugh even though I'm generally a serious type who doesn't giggle easily.
~•~
📖 Thawban RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whenever a woman asks her husband for a divorce without a strong reason, the fragrance of Paradise becomes forbidden for her."
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 2226
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Arna'ut
📖 Jabir RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, shaytan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: 'I have done this and this.' shaytan says: 'you have done nothing.' Another one says: 'I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife.' shaytan embraces him and he says: 'you have done well!'"
Source: Sahih Muslim 2813
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Muslim

Thursday, March 2, 2023

Note: Introverted And Socially Selective

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 
📑 Some of the weird things I've done and still do (as an INTJ) which confirm that I'm actually introverted even though I may appear talkative and inquisitive at times: 
1] Feeling indifferent or unsurprised when I discover that a group of individuals went on a trip together or attended a gathering while forgetfully or deliberately excluding me for whatever reason. 
2] Stubbornly refusing to stalk users on social media who upload photos related to their recent outings and get-togethers. 
3] Being resistant to doubting my self-worth whenever I don't receive direct invites, unaffected by the myth FOMO - fear of missing out, because I'm blissfully contented Alhamdulillah with my dear husband and family as well as the select few souls whom Allah the Most Wise destined that I genuinely love for His sake. 
4] Not having any interest in thoroughly browsing around online profiles and websites of individuals whom I've newly met, since I'm not desperate to start my own fan club and overload it. 
5] Usually asking several questions regarding the event when I do get invited occasionally (for example: Who's attending? What's the main purpose of mingling? etc.) and unapologetically deciding to not go most of the time if none of the potential attendees is somebody whom I am truly comfortable around. 
From the categories of people that I avoid for Allah's sake as much as possible: Insecure gossipmongers who enjoy gossiping about others to pacify their insufferable envy or awful guilt of lacking basic good manners, who childishly make fun of people to distract themselves from their own defects, and those who frequently pretend to be whom they're not because inventing absurd untruths about their life experiences is a lot easier for them than disclosing their real identity and motives.
~•~
📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah, and withholds for the sake of Allah has perfected the faith (Imaan)."
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4681
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Musa RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, the parable (similitude, example) of good company and a bad company is only that of a seller of musk and a blacksmith. The seller of musk will give you some perfume, you will buy some, or you will notice a good smell (pleasant scent). As for the blacksmith, he will burn your clothes or you will notice a bad smell."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5534, Sahih Muslim 2628
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi
📖 Ibn Hibban reported: Abu Darda RadhiAllahu 'anhu said, "A righteous companion is better than solitude, and solitude is better than an evil companion. A good writer is better than one silent, and one silent is better than an evil writer."
Source: Rawḍat Al-‘Uqalā’ 56

Wednesday, March 1, 2023

Tips: Bad Qualities Which Would Cause A Person To Be Undeserving Of Your Trust And Loyalty

💐 In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful 
📝 Five qualities if found in some individuals would prevent them from being "friendworthy" - they do not deserve your trust and loyalty: 
1❎ Jealous / envious. 
Deep conversations and meaningful connections are impossible to have with those who intensely envy everything about you. You can sense that an acquaintance envies you when they mostly treat you disrespectfully and deliberately exclude you from social gatherings which they initiate, desperate to upset you whenever possible so their disconcerting jealousy overwhelms them less.
2❎ Ignorant / delusional. 
You can't form a stable friendship with someone who insists on doing what's illogical or they see nothing wrong with commiting crimes and acts of bid'ah (religious innovation such as pointlessly participating in birthday celebrations and sculpting or sketching images of living beings etc.). 
3❎ Cowardly / insecure. 
Don't expect an inwardly sad person who frequently acts passive-aggressive towards you and feels so afraid or ashamed to discuss with you serious issues to be reliable. They're likely to abandon you in the future when they notice you in any sort of trouble. 
4❎ Egotistic / narcissistic. 
Long-lasting friendship, support, genuine respect, integrity and reliability can never be expected from somebody who is a lot more obsessed with their wants and overinflated ego than they're concerned with your faith Imaan, safety and overall well-being. 
5❎ Untruthful / deceitful / fake / inauthentic / phoney. 
Why waste your lifetime, attention and energy on clowns who regularly invent lies to impress themselves, too often pretend to be whom they aren't, and even the most deceptive of counterfeit products and forged documents worldwide would be less pathetic than the fables they make up for their selfish agenda.
~•~
📖 Abu Umamah RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever loves for the sake of Allah, hates for the sake of Allah, gives for the sake of Allah, and withholds for the sake of Allah has perfected the faith (Imaan)."
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4681
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
📖 Abu Musa RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "Verily, the parable (similitude, example) of good company and a bad company is only that of a seller of musk and a blacksmith. The seller of musk will give you some perfume, you will buy some, or you will notice a good smell (pleasant scent). As for the blacksmith, he will burn your clothes or you will notice a bad smell."
Source: Sahih Al-Bukhari 5534, Sahih Muslim 2628
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (Authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim 
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: Allah's noble Messenger Muhammad SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends."
Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2378
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Nawawi
📖 Ibn Hibban reported: Abu Darda RadhiAllahu 'anhu said, "A righteous companion is better than solitude, and solitude is better than an evil companion. A good writer is better than one silent, and one silent is better than an evil writer."
Source: Rawḍat Al-‘Uqalā’ 56
🌻