💌 13 Lessons learned on loving your
spouse, from around 13 years of being married (Alhamdulillah):
1) Getting married isn't the main source of happiness. Your joy, inner peace and contentment should be found in sincerely obeying Allah the Almighty. Regardless of what your marital status is (married, single, widowed, separated), you can never be happy if you don't have Islam, faith/Imaan and piety.
2) Genuinely loving your husband for Allah's sake can help you go through any trial and difficulty in marriage life. By staying loyal to your destined soulmate for the sake of Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, you have the ability to continue loving him patiently as his faithful wife.
3) Instead of getting hurt when he doesn't return your calls or answer your text messages instantly, be brave enough to forgive, understand him and accept the reality that he could be busy, he didn't reply because he had no load that time, or his other wife is trying to interfere with your communication if you're in polygyny. Earn rewards by practicing patience rather than demanding for divorce quickly.
4) Be grateful for even the smallest acts of kindness and gestures of love from your husband, whether it's found in him feeding you with his own right hand while eating together, drinking from the glass you drank from, welcoming the dishes you cook for him without complaining, letting you massage him, and showing willingness to listen to you when you want to describe your day or emotions.
5) It's not always that you get to sleep and spend time with your husband. There will be moments when he has to travel to another city or country for several days or months, so you anxiously miss him. Missing someone's presence is clear evidence that you really care about them.
6) Don't expect everything to be ideal or flawless in marriage. Expect instances when your husband makes a mistake, hurts your feelings or cancels appointments. Acknowledge the truth that your spouse is human. Consider every disappointment as an oppurtunity to develop your strength in accepting Allah's Qadr/Destiny with rewarding patience.
7) Being patient with your husband doesn't indicate you're weak or you are settling for less, but you're strong enough to not let your ego take control over your actions and you don't allow temporary examinations to keep you upset.
8) It's not a necessity for every Muslim couple to be exactly alike and perfectly compatible for them to get along with each other. In some marriages, the husband is more religious than his wife, whereas in other love journeys, the pious wife has a beautiful chance to inspire her husband to become more righteous with Sabr.
9) The number of kids that Muslim couples have together do not measure the quality of their love life. It is possible for a man and woman to remain married without bringing up any children. Their infertility is a test from Allah the Most Merciful, to examine their level of patience, and it could be their chance to earn more of Allah's Love by showing interest in taking good care of orphans.
10) It's normal for husbands and wives to argue with one another now and then. Instead of asking for divorce after an argument, find the courage to be the first to forgive, reconcile and try to sympathize with how your husband is different. If he stubbornly insists on committing a wrongdoing though, don't be quick to abandon him. Pray to Allah that He guides your husband and include your spouse in your frequent supplications.
11) Your marriage life is a blessing and gift from Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala if it leads you and your spouse to Jannah Paradise, protects you from haraam/forbidden relationships, and trains you to give preference to pleasing Allah over submitting to your desires.
12) In some cases there can be a possibility for a wife to feel attracted to someone other than her husband, or for a man to admire other women who are not his wife/wives. This is another kind of test from Allah the Most Forgiving. You are not accountable for whatever thoughts or feelings you have, as long as you try your best to ensure you don't put those urges into actions. Strengthen your connection with Allah, persist in disciplining your nafs, and lower your gaze as a striving Muslim.
13) Once in a while you may get jealous of other people's marriages, especially if the type of friends you hang out with enjoy bragging about how their love lives seem perfect. Rather than feeling bad or discontented, bravely be happy for them, encourage them to stay loyal, and appreciate the love journey that Allah the Most Loving wisely chose for you. What works for you may not work out for others, and what goes well with others' love lives may not be suitable for your love journey. Since Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala created His servants with unique roles and abilities, not everybody goes through life's trials similarly. Avoid comparing your marriage to others' romance. Do your best to be a pleasant wife to your husband until you reunite in Jannah Paradise where profound bliss and perfection can be enjoyed for eternity.
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes."
1) Getting married isn't the main source of happiness. Your joy, inner peace and contentment should be found in sincerely obeying Allah the Almighty. Regardless of what your marital status is (married, single, widowed, separated), you can never be happy if you don't have Islam, faith/Imaan and piety.
2) Genuinely loving your husband for Allah's sake can help you go through any trial and difficulty in marriage life. By staying loyal to your destined soulmate for the sake of Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala, you have the ability to continue loving him patiently as his faithful wife.
3) Instead of getting hurt when he doesn't return your calls or answer your text messages instantly, be brave enough to forgive, understand him and accept the reality that he could be busy, he didn't reply because he had no load that time, or his other wife is trying to interfere with your communication if you're in polygyny. Earn rewards by practicing patience rather than demanding for divorce quickly.
4) Be grateful for even the smallest acts of kindness and gestures of love from your husband, whether it's found in him feeding you with his own right hand while eating together, drinking from the glass you drank from, welcoming the dishes you cook for him without complaining, letting you massage him, and showing willingness to listen to you when you want to describe your day or emotions.
5) It's not always that you get to sleep and spend time with your husband. There will be moments when he has to travel to another city or country for several days or months, so you anxiously miss him. Missing someone's presence is clear evidence that you really care about them.
6) Don't expect everything to be ideal or flawless in marriage. Expect instances when your husband makes a mistake, hurts your feelings or cancels appointments. Acknowledge the truth that your spouse is human. Consider every disappointment as an oppurtunity to develop your strength in accepting Allah's Qadr/Destiny with rewarding patience.
7) Being patient with your husband doesn't indicate you're weak or you are settling for less, but you're strong enough to not let your ego take control over your actions and you don't allow temporary examinations to keep you upset.
8) It's not a necessity for every Muslim couple to be exactly alike and perfectly compatible for them to get along with each other. In some marriages, the husband is more religious than his wife, whereas in other love journeys, the pious wife has a beautiful chance to inspire her husband to become more righteous with Sabr.
9) The number of kids that Muslim couples have together do not measure the quality of their love life. It is possible for a man and woman to remain married without bringing up any children. Their infertility is a test from Allah the Most Merciful, to examine their level of patience, and it could be their chance to earn more of Allah's Love by showing interest in taking good care of orphans.
10) It's normal for husbands and wives to argue with one another now and then. Instead of asking for divorce after an argument, find the courage to be the first to forgive, reconcile and try to sympathize with how your husband is different. If he stubbornly insists on committing a wrongdoing though, don't be quick to abandon him. Pray to Allah that He guides your husband and include your spouse in your frequent supplications.
11) Your marriage life is a blessing and gift from Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala if it leads you and your spouse to Jannah Paradise, protects you from haraam/forbidden relationships, and trains you to give preference to pleasing Allah over submitting to your desires.
12) In some cases there can be a possibility for a wife to feel attracted to someone other than her husband, or for a man to admire other women who are not his wife/wives. This is another kind of test from Allah the Most Forgiving. You are not accountable for whatever thoughts or feelings you have, as long as you try your best to ensure you don't put those urges into actions. Strengthen your connection with Allah, persist in disciplining your nafs, and lower your gaze as a striving Muslim.
13) Once in a while you may get jealous of other people's marriages, especially if the type of friends you hang out with enjoy bragging about how their love lives seem perfect. Rather than feeling bad or discontented, bravely be happy for them, encourage them to stay loyal, and appreciate the love journey that Allah the Most Loving wisely chose for you. What works for you may not work out for others, and what goes well with others' love lives may not be suitable for your love journey. Since Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala created His servants with unique roles and abilities, not everybody goes through life's trials similarly. Avoid comparing your marriage to others' romance. Do your best to be a pleasant wife to your husband until you reunite in Jannah Paradise where profound bliss and perfection can be enjoyed for eternity.
📖 Abu Huraira RadhiAllahu 'anhu narrated: The Messenger of Allah SallAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes."
Source: Sahih Ibn Hibban 4252
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
Grade: Sahih (Authentic) according to Al-Albani
